Doja Cat#DOMS2LiveFeed đ Episode 1:
God, Everyone Hates You
God, Everyone Hates You
Hello everyone! Welcome back to âDeath On My Spaceshipâ. My name is Doja Cat, and Iâll be the host of the show. Following the first season, we got a lot of feedback on how we can improve and better organize our show. Today weâre going to introduce thirteen âcelebrity(?)â guests.
Theyâre going to begin an epic competition that will challenge them physically, mentally, and emotionally. The crew will work together to complete challenges to earn money. However, among them is an imposter, a double agent placed within the game to sabotage the otherâs efforts to earn money. The objective of the imposter is to disrupt, divide, and deceive the crew. The imposterâs identity is a secret, so no one knows who he, or she, or they are.
Itâs a simple game: Complete the missions, win the cash, and most importantly solve the murders.
We have changed how the elimination process has worked in comparison to last season. Instead of every player voting to eliminate a person from the crew, each week the players will have to take a test to try to solve who the imposter is. Instead of allowing the imposter to randomly murder people within the crew, now the imposter will kill whoever performs worst on a given test. The murders will also be involved in the weekly challenges.
The show crowns its winner or winners when either the crew unanimously solves who the imposter is or the imposter is the last person alive. We have also removed the feature of ârolesâ for the given crew members. We figured it would be best to eliminate any form of âpowerâ dynamic between the players.
With an expanded budget, weâve also expanded the size of the âshipâ in which the players will spend most of their time aboard. Weâve designed the new ship to be almost like a labyrinth, but yet fully functional as a realistic ship. Will the crew be able to survive and make it to the Doja Dimension, or will the secret agent stop them from doing so? Stay tuned and toot along with the #DOMS2 , #DOMSLiveFeeds, and #DeathOnMySpaceship hashtags.
Weâre not starting the game inside the ship, instead, weâre starting outside of it. We will be visiting many sets throughout the course of the show, and this first one is designed to be an alien jungle as if the ship had crash-landed on a strange planet. Without further ado, letâs get introduced to the cast.
The landing deck of the ship opens and out steps the first player: Star of the hit season âWANNA BE ON TOPâ @TOP steps out of the ship.
"HELLO LADIES AND GENTLEMEN AND HOMOSEXUALS AND NON BINARY... PEOPLE OF ALL... UM... GENDER APPROPRIATIONS??!!... UHHH... AND THE UGH PRONOUNS UGH... EVERYONE IS INCLUDED!!!"
However, nobody is included as @TOP realizes heâs alone outside of the ship. He sighs and pulls out his wallet, looking at a picture of @Kandi he keeps in there. "I'M GONNA WIN THIS FOR YOU MY PRINCESS."
Footsteps can be heard as @RuPaul steps outside of the ship next.
âHello, hello, hello!â waits for applause âIt's me, Mother RuPual. Once a Singer, Actress and global phenomenon (it goes on and on), now just a humble gal here to turn up the heat and probably slice off a few bitches! Can you handle the heat? Because your country breakfast is ready! Now if you can't love yourself how in the HELL you're gonna love somebody else can I get amen up in here?!â
@TOP looked around, confused. âOH I LOVE PITS, I CAN TOTALLY EXPLORE YOURS IF YOUâD LIKE.â
âWell butter me up like a biscuit at a Tuesday brunch because Iâd like to bite. Laughing noise.â @RuPaul said.
@ParisHilton is the next player to emerge from the ship.
âOne night in Paris, now more nights on a spaceship. Does anyone think spacetravelling is a good thing? I love Meghan Trainor, I think sheâs a really interesting artist.â
âIs that Courtney Act? Itâs so somewhat pleasant to see you here.â @RuPaul says to @ParisHilton, mistaking her for a drag queen.
âWhoâs caught in like what? I like.. Donât even know like what like youâre talking about like. Ha. Sliving! Thatâs hot! Catchphrase!â Paris responded.
@RuPaul, still under the impression that the blonde before him was a drag queen, responded: âI am your mother, you listen to me.â
âI like didnât even like recognize you. Youâre like so obsessed with me.â @ParisHilton said, hugging Rupaul as he tried to force her away from him. âThatâs so hot.â
@TOP steps in, forming a group hug with the others as he speaks to Rupaul. âIF YOU LIKE I CAN CALL YOU MOMMY TOO.â
Producers sensed that the cast didn't meet their LGTBQIA+ standards, so Lana Del Reyâs personal assistant @itsryanxox was sent out as the next cast member: âIs Grant here?â Ryan asks.
âGRANT IS NOT HERE, BUT IF YOUâD LIKE, I CAN GRANT YOU ANY WISH. RUPAUL IS HERE TOO. â @TOP smiled and approached @itsryannxox
âWhy would I rue that Paul is here? I would have never expected him to leave his house.â Ryan asked, confused.
@itsryannxox awkwardly smiled and waved to @RuPaul, trying to step away from @TOP.
Rupaul waved back, unsure of who Ryan was. âAnd you are? Oh yeah! Uh.. uh.. You were so much fun on Season 12 I think? Youâre giga? Um.. Jack? Uh⊠Uh Jadavanescence?? Good to see you!â
âHas Season 12 happened yet? I donât keep track.â Ryan asked, still having Rupaul mistaken for someone else, âWell, Iâm glad youâre the one familiar face here instead of the short one or the one obsessed with flamingos.â
The next cast member skipped out of the ship's door.
âHola!â Björk and Meghan Trainor collaborator @Feoba stepped out of the ship. âDid someone say flamingo? Cause I think itâs time for space to get a little tropical. Now, who brought the sangria?â
"Oh wow, oh wow! Ahhh this is so exciting! Itâs great to see you! I'm glad we can both step away from out responsibilities(?) to be here.â @Feoba said to @Itsryanxox.
âIf only I can say the same!â Ryan smiled back at Rob. âWhy donât you go and talk to Paul now, and just like, away from me-ish? thanks.â
Suddenly everyone went quiet as the ground began to shake. Waddling out of the ship arrived @Xtina.
âYou never thought a legend would walk through, Legend X has arrived on the spaceship."
The other members quietly stared at @Xtina for a few moments before @RuPaul broke the silence, âWell... let us know when a legend arrives!â
Christina approached the other players, not understanding the comment. @ParisHilton smiled and hugged her. âGirl, if you were like 400 pounds lighter we could totally like be like friends!â
âYou know,â @Xtina began to attempt a monologue, wanting as much screen time as possible before sheâs most likely killed off first, âConfessionally, From a Broken Heart, comments like that Still Hurt Me. They make my Heartache and my Heartbreak (both singles released almost back to back). Now... Iâm not gonna cry any Tears about it. You can Cry Your Tears Out. So many Tears From Our Eyes. Why? Because I Feel Love."
"Iâm a Chic that can Pose during the Dance Revolution." @Xtina continued... "This is a Glass Haus so donât throw any stones. From the Moment I Saw You I put my Heart On The Line. I listened to the Voices In My Head and they said Catch This Feeling When The Lights Go Out. So Donât You Pity Me when I-â
âAre you just referencing all your singles in an attempt to get us to remember any of them?â @ParisHilton asked. âCause if you were like anyone else, thatâd be like so hot.â
âYes, Yes I am. I love both shoehorning my career into any conversation while simultaneously not wanting to promote it at all." @Xtina stood there as if she had said something profound. "Call it the duality of man. Call it.. The duality of Legend X.â
âGonna call it the duality of⊠a man cause thatâs all I see in front of me.â @ParisHilton responded.
The door to the ship opens again.
âReigning DOM(s).â @GrantGustin snapped his fingers as he stepped out, âI've said murders were going to be vicious, but this time they'll be delicious."
@itsryannxox gasped, rushing up to Grant and leaping onto him, screaming âYou can DOM me anytime youâd like!â while both fell to the floor. Grant grunted as Ryan clung to him. The cameras had to cut away due to censor concerns.
@Xtina looked around confused as usual, but upon hearing the word âDeliciousâ she felt the need to remind people she was on a No. 1 single once.
âWant to hear a fun fact? I was on the song âDeliciousâ, I was a part of it. I was there and I witnessed it. Iâve been a part of many songs before. A lot of people consider me a pioneer in the industry." She lied. (1)
"I have some problems and difficulties you know uh⊠Because iâm⊠Iâm a powerhouse singer. I can belt pretty well. Thatâs my⊠Thatâs a comfort zone of mine. And⊠and some singers have a very easy ability to thereâs this sorta uh middle ground in a⊠In a singerâs voice or voices that they can kinda almost kinda almost I call it almost like a yawn effect." (2)
"Itâs almost uh a place between in your voice when you yawn and itâs kinda like between a belt and a falsetto and a largo and a lento and a venti coffee. You know, Iâm very black and sometimes white. Iâm either like HEEEEEY or Iâm like heeeeyyy. You know? Itâs like.. Itâs.. itâs..â
@Xtina looked around to realize that none of the crew were actually paying any attention to her.
The doors to the ship opened once again, and out stepped @HarryStyles,
âHello, it's Harry Styles. I'm a singer-songwriter who makes music. I'm here hoping I don't die once again, so good day mates!â
@Feoba cheered and ran up to @HarryStyles, hugging him tightly. âOh my god this is going to be amazing! Ah Styles Ah Boyfriend Ah Grammysâ
"I totally agree babe." Harry said, "I'd love for the world to see our love."
The cameras had to cut away again due to censor concerns.