Random thoughts about “blocking” vs “non-blocking” in the context of social interactions
By nature, I am a social planner and organizer. I think I was a sheepdog in a previous life 😂 I often initiate social plans, it brings me joy and reward.
I noticed a while ago that I started accumulating some undue anxiety from waiting for other people before going ahead with a plan. The bigger the invite, and the higher the level of commitment, the more anxious I felt during the “waiting” stage.
I also realized that for a lot of things, I didn’t actually mind going just by myself or with my partner. I ended up missing out on doing a few things I wanted to because I waited too long for other people to confirm.
So, I consciously switched over to a non-blocking model. I started phrasing things as, “I’m going to do this thing. Everyone is welcome to join” rather than “let’s go do this thing, when is everyone free?”
There’s a definite trade off - it’s less inclusive but more liberating.
@deniseyu I had a friend teach me this many years ago when we were on a work trip with a large group.
We can spend all of our energy trying to gather the biggest group possible and get everyone rallied to a common plan which, even if successful, will take a lot of energy… or…
We can take the 2-5 of us right here, announce our plan to leave in 10 minutes, and have a great time.
Denise
Derek Prior