@HotHeadSheWolf
One Republic blared through my stereo as I drove to Forks. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and I figured it was Leah. I didn’t try to reach for it while I drove. I’d reply when I got to work.

I pulled into the staff-only car park behind the club and spotted #JoeWalker’s car… he wasn’t supposed to be here today at all after swapping shifts with me yesterday. The sight distracted me enough that I didn’t stop to check the text message on my phone before I went inside to see >

@HotHeadSheWolf
< what was going on. I found him inside chatting up one of the bartenders. But he excused himself the second he saw me.

“I didn’t think you’d be here today.” I said, stuffing my keys into my pocket.

‘I just wanted to pop in and see if everything was okay.’ Joe replied. ‘What happened?’

I explained to him that my Auntie hurt herself and ended up in the hospital overnight I was helping out her kids. That ended with me needing to explain to him that on the Rez most elders were <

@HotHeadSheWolf
< Auntie and Uncle and the Chief was Uncle or Grandfather depending on your age. I told him that everything was going to be okay and that it was Mom, but she was with the family now helping out. This made Joe chuckle.

‘She’s some woman.” He said as though he knew her well. “Sick herself and still lending a hand to a friend in need.’

“That’s my Mom… I have a feeling she’ll be spending the night there.” We walked to the office together and I cocked in.

‘Will she be okay? >

@HotHeadSheWolf
< ‘Will she be okay?
Doesn’t she have meds to take?’ He asked.

“She’ll be fine Leah will make sure she has everything she needs.” I realised my slip immediately. I had only given him vague details, adding in just enough small ones to discourage too many questions.

‘Oh… This is Leah’s mother then? The lady that got hurt?’ He gave me a knowing smirk. ‘The knight in shining armour routine. Why didn’t you just tell me that on the phone.’ >

@HotHeadSheWolf
< I shook my head and laughed. “It wasn’t like that… her brother and I are close friends, he called me asking for help so I helped.”

‘So, she didn’t call you, the bother did?’ He tutted shaking his head. ‘You have so much work to do on that one, Call.’

“You’re an arsehole.” I laughed and elbowed him. “Now fuck off, it's supposed to be your night off.”

Joe finished up a few things that really could have waited until tomorrow while I started the fire check. After >

@HotHeadSheWolf
< checking the last door, I remembered my phone. I replied to Leah:

[𝙰𝚕𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚢 𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎. 𝙷𝚎'𝚜 𝚊 𝚐𝚘𝚘𝚍 𝚔𝚒𝚍... 𝚂𝚕𝚎𝚎𝚙, 𝙲𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚠𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚛.]

Then I text Seth. [𝙼𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚜𝚝𝚞𝚋𝚋𝚘𝚛𝚗 𝚜𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚘𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚜 𝚐𝚎𝚝𝚜 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚜𝚕𝚎𝚎𝚙. 𝚃𝚎𝚡𝚝 𝙹𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚒𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚢𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘𝚗𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝. 𝙷𝚎'𝚕𝚕 𝚋𝚎 𝚊𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍]

I had no guilt volunteering Jake’s time just like he would none volunteering mine. I would have offered up #Quil’s too if it wasn’t his night with #Bear.

@BadBoyEmbryCall

The house was quiet, the light out. The windows in the living room opened by the kid because he knew the song of the spirits would help to settle me. I didn’t need to ask, or say anything. He had just gotten up, opened them and then curled back down with his jeans on my lap.

My phone flashed on the floor beside me, with Embry’s name and message. And then #TheKid’s phone buzzed next to mine with his name and message on it. Embry Call was in his way looking out -

@BadBoyEmbryCall -

for the Clearwaters. Slowly I shifted #TheKids head off my lap, and onto a pillow under him. Slipping out of the living room, listening to the two breathing waves from upstairs.

It was the best sound I could hear. Ma, #MsC and #TheKid fast sleep.

Looking at the time I went into the kitchen looking at the pain meds for Ma, taking the ones she needed to take, and then I looked over the med bag for #MsC. -

@BadBoyEmbryCall -

Two glasses of water in a tray, the meds I went up softly waking them for them and then letting them go back to sleep.

I didn’t know how they did it, but this wasn’t the first time they had slept like this. It mostly happened when #MsC had bad nights. With Embry working night at the club, Ma would find reasons to stay over. Even if they lived close.

When I made my way back downstairs, I scented them outside in the back. Opening the back door, to walk to the back of Ma’s -

@BadBoyEmbryCall -

yard with my hands pushed into my back pocket.

To anyone looking at me they would think I was talking to the trees, but hidden in there stood a dark, ashy-brown furred wolf. And a reddish-brown patch work furred wolf.

“She is okay pups, you shouldn’t be here. Your petrol is due to the far side of the cliffs tonight.” They whimpered and I knew why. “You can come see her tomorrow, she is asleep right now.” -

@BadBoyEmbryCall -

Theirs brown eyes moved to the top floor of Ma’s home. To her window, before they both nodded, stepping back into the woods.

@HotHeadSheWolf
The hours dragged by… I mean, slow nights happened but tonight I felt like I needed to be somewhere else. It was even longer. I knew that I couldn't drag her to bed with me so that she would finally sleep, so the heat and heartbeats or whatever it was when we were together could lull her into a real sleep. But even if I could just... be there... It wouldn't be suspicious. I always made myself annoyingly present when shit like this happened.

On my break a replied to a few >

@HotHeadSheWolf
< texts from the pups telling that had dropped by and that Leah told them Auntie Sue was okay. I replied to them all saying the best thing they could do for the Clearwaters right now was to fulfil their duties and be ready to help if they were needed.

Because I couldn't help myself I text Leah while I was sitting on the loading dock getting some sir before I had to go back inside.

[𝙷𝚘𝚠 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚜?]

Then added
[𝙸𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚛𝚎𝚙𝚕𝚢 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝙸'𝚕𝚕 𝚋𝚎 𝚙𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚛𝚎𝚗'𝚝 >

@HotHeadSheWolf
< 𝚜𝚕𝚎𝚎𝚙𝚒𝚗𝚐]

I laughed at myself. "Way send mixed signals, Call." I swigged the last of my beer and chucked my pizza box into the dumpster nearby before heading back inside to take up my least favourite post, Joe's usual role... manning the door.

@BadBoyEmbryCall

I was sat on the back porch looking up at the overcast sky when I heard his foot steps.

“Why are you awake?”

He held out my phone to me, with a small frown. ‘Why is Embry texting you this late?”

Raising my eyebrow, my chin dropped to glance at him.

“I just meant it really late.” He was back tracking now. He knew the rules. And saw walls had been coming down, but some were still up and in place.
-

@BadBoyEmbryCall -

Taking my phone I opened the text and read it. Showing #TheKid the first one.

[𝙷𝚘𝚠 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚜?]

“He is checking in your mom, and his mom who I kept here tonight.”

He winced as he read the message. “That is the first and last time you are seeing any messages on my phone.” My voice told him I wasn’t kidding here.

‘So—‘ cutting him off.

“If you are about to say sorry, stop. If you used your brain to think. You wouldn’t have needed to over step.”
-

@BadBoyEmbryCall -

It wasn’t deflection, this was fact. No man was going to get away with talking to me that way. No even my baby brother.

“Go to sleep, I’ve got this watch.” I told him and watched him go back inside before closing my eyes and breathing.

Going into my phones settings I turned off message preview before replying.

[𝚃𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚋𝚘𝚝𝚑 𝚏𝚊𝚜𝚝 𝚊𝚜𝚕𝚎𝚎𝚙. 𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚋𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚙𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚍𝚘𝚎𝚜𝚗’𝚝 𝚜𝚌𝚊𝚛 𝚖𝚎.]

@HotHeadSheWolf
The night hadn't picked up much... but considering this as the one and only nightclub in Forks and the only place open after midnight; a slow night was almost at capacity and a slight queue at the door... just to lure people in. There was room inside to let these folks in with beaking fire codes... but the line outside was a hook. And one I kept moving enough to stop people from giving up and going home.

I pulled out my phone smiling and tucked it back into my pocket. There >

@HotHeadSheWolf
< was a good chance #Seth was keeping a close eye on her sister, hoping for the chance that just once she might let him look after her even if all that it entailed was staying awake s she could sleep... Maybe, someday she would let the Kid have that. Or it was possible the guys who could get away like #Jay, #Sam or #Jake would stop by. If I was texting her all night it would be a giveaway.

Plus... I knew without a doubt that even now... with everything that was happening with >

@HotHeadSheWolf
< Everything happening between us... she still was not even a little worried about m being mad at her or not. I smiled again at the thought.

One of the turn-offs of relationships for me had always been the dependency... the idea that someone's day, week or life would hinge on whether or not another was mad at them or missing them. But Leah would never be like that, she was her own compass.

I wondered then if that was why it was so easy to talk to her... I wasn't worried >

@HotHeadSheWolf
< That my sadness or stress would drag her down... or talking about a good day would be seen as self-involved because she had a bad one. She just heard me out... and then if she was so inclined... shared a little something too.

I wasn't sure how long I had been lost in those thoughts so I allowed in the next group of people.

Some nights... manning the door really wasn't that bad.

@BadBoyEmbryCall

When I finally came back inside to my spot in the living room. Sitting on the flood, With my back against Ma’s couch, and with my legs outstretched. #TheKid took his place too. His head in my lap and he turned to fact me.

He used to do it when he was much younger. Hide his face in my stomach and close his eyes. Then tell me a secret or share something that had happened to him.

Now the conversation from outside, gone. My eyes in a book that I try to read. My fingers -

@BadBoyEmbryCall -

Playing with his hair. Stoking it like I did back then, not needing to think of my action until a thought came to life. I missed his hair. His long silky dark hair. He never let it grow back now. Some of the others in the pack grew theirs out a little. I had grown mine out completely. But not #TheKid.

‘Sis?’ Arms curled around a cushion as he spoke.

“Hmm?”

‘Are you alone?’

Still reading i answer “No, I’m with you.”

He sighed. ‘No. Wait. It’s not what I mean.’ -

@BadBoyEmbryCall -

“Okay.”

There was silence again for a while as I turned the page.

‘Are you lonely?’ His voice is a soft whisper.

“No, I have you and Ma.” Turning the page again.

‘You know that’s not what I mean. I know you don’t like talking about … well…’

“Kid. Do you really want to hear about my sex life?”

He shuddered and shifted to sit up. Taking the book out of my hands. And then he sat crossed legged facing me.

‘1. No. And B. Not what I meant. People came be -

@BadBoyEmbryCall -

surrounded all their lives, with thousands of people , and still be lonely. Are you lonely?’

His light brown eyes were watching me.

“No. I’m not lonely. People are lonely when they can’t be happy with themselves. When they can’t have happiness in being… just being… I am not that kind of person. I am happiest when I am with my own thoughts. Why are you asking this?”

He’d never asked me it before.

‘Just…’ he shifted his tall body to lay his head back down where it was.

@HotHeadSheWolf
The night went smoothly, most nights went off with a hitch, and fights weren't common. Most of the time people were thrown out for being too drunk or too wasted. Tonight it was the usual few drunks tossed and no big hassles.

Lock-up seemed to take as long as the rest of the shift and I knew that it was because I was wondering how things were at the Clearwater's... and not just about #Sue and Mom. I wished I knew how #Seth and #Leah were too. They had both been so shaken in >

@HotHeadSheWolf
< very different ways.

I wasn't naive enough to fool myself that my concern for Leah wasn't any different than it would have been a few months ago. Then I would have thought she was fine, that she was rationalising everything and coping by managing the situation and being her usually responsible self. But now I knew better.

And yes, everything I would have thought then was true and sill was now, but there was more. So much more. She would be wrecked with guilt, thinking she >

@HotHeadSheWolf
< should have been able to stop the accident, that if she had anticipated her mother's needs better maybe she wouldn't have even gone to the shed, to begin with. All of these things were outside her control... and even if I could be with Leah now I couldn't convince her of that.

Not that I would try to... but there it was. The reason I wished I could be with her. She knew I wouldn't try and convince her not to punish herself for this... So she would voice all of it, let those >

@HotHeadSheWolf
< thoughts run free in the world and maybe... just maybe it would make things a little bit lighter. Maybe if she lay next to me with all those sounds and scents that accompanied us being together she would sleep.

Maybe.

But I knew that wasn't an option. I told myself she was fine... she was with #Seth and even though most people looked at him like he was one that needed taking care of... he was good at looking after others. He just wasn't afraid to need people too.

That >

@HotHeadSheWolf
< train of thought kept m company the whole way home.

I resisted the urge to text either of the Clearwater siblings on the way inside. The house smelled like #Bear and popcorn. there was a book on the couch that I picked up and opened to the bookmarked page...

I cringed... Some dude covered in bandages getting busy on a couch... not fourteen-year-old reading material. But I could deal with that in the morning.

I grabbed a beer and a guitar and headed out to the back porch >

@HotHeadSheWolf
< where I sat on the back step and swigged from the beer.

It was cold and dry... the clouds weren't too thick and the house was close enough to the beach to smell the salt in the air but not quite hear the waves. Home was the sound of trees and the smell of the sea for me.

I picked up the guitar and played... for the Clearwater's, for #Sue to heal quickly and for #Seth and #Leah to know that they weren't alone in this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8d-yzmIMbI

@BadBoyEmbryCall

The house was quite once again, with the moms fast asleep upstairs. (I knew because I never stopped listening to their breathing and hearts.) And #TheKid was now fast asleep with his head still in my lap.

Allowing myself to close my eyes after watching my baby brother for a long while, try to understand where his questioning came from tonight. But it didn’t make any sense to me. Somethings were never solved, I guessed this would be one for tonight.
-

@BadBoyEmbryCall -

They started to dance, and then they sang. The flurry of the wind came in from the windows I’d opened in the living too. And I knew without a doubt what and who had caused it. Embry was home, and he was playing.

It was something I started to notice since Seattle, the fact that their joy was connected to our joy, and their sadness was too. They had been a soft hum all day today, the sound of the spirits -

@BadBoyEmbryCall -

protection over Ma. But now it had changed a little. They still prayed for her, but they also danced in the spirit of the Warrior who played in his back yard without know what reaction he cased in them.

Reaching out and shooting over a text.

[Get some sleep, it’s been a long day and night for you. -L]

@HotHeadSheWolf
I picked up the phone on the step beside me and chuckled at her message, she always knew.

[𝙸'𝚖 𝚐𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎, 𝙸 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚎. 𝙱𝚞𝚝 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞? 𝚂𝚕𝚎𝚎𝚙... 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢'𝚛𝚎 𝚘𝚔𝚊𝚢.]

I didn't like this feeling, I felt like I needed to be there The feeling of being in the wrong place at the wrong time was undeniable.

[𝙸 𝚠𝚒𝚜𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝙸 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚍𝚘, 𝚒𝚝 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕𝚜 𝚠𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚋𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎.]

I hit send, knowing that was a message were would both need to delete too. I picked up the beer to take a
>

@HotHeadSheWolf
< swig.

I knew I would have to get to bed soon... but I couldn't help but want to be next to her so I knew that she was at least trying to sleep.

Part of me had no doubt that she would sleep, we both would... if we were together.

@BadBoyEmbryCall

I knew when I saw my phone flash that he was still aware, even if the spirits had slowly died down outside.

I also knew the need to unwind after work. I couldn’t just go home and crash. And I had learnt he was the same.

[𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚍𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚍𝚘. 𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚔 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚋𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎. 𝙸 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖..]

The sleeping sounds from upstairs and from the kid with his head in my lap, I could tell that we were on the way out of this nightmare.

And yet Sleep still couldn’t take a hold of me.-

@BadBoyEmbryCall -

When I noted the time, I knew that the moms would soon need their meds again. And then after an hour of two they would need feeding. So really, was there any point to sleeping now? I could do it later? Or at least I thought it was possible.

@HotHeadSheWolf
I set the guitar aside and took another mouthful of beer before I replied to her.

[𝙸𝚝'𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝙼𝚘𝚖'𝚜 𝙸'𝚖 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝, 𝙸 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚜. 𝙸 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚠𝚒𝚜𝚑...]

I paused and took a breath because i wasn'tsure how to say what I wantd to say.

[𝙸 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚋𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚢𝚘𝚞. 𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝚋𝚎𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚊𝚢 𝚒𝚝, 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚋𝚎𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍 𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚘... 𝚒𝚝'𝚜 𝚋𝚎𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝙸 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚝𝚘. 𝙸'𝚖 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚘𝚏 𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕𝚜 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚒𝚛 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚌𝚎 𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎. 𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝙸 𝚍𝚘. 𝙱𝚞𝚝 >

@HotHeadSheWolf
< 𝙸 𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞'𝚟𝚎 𝚐𝚘𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜. 𝙰𝚕𝚠𝚊𝚢𝚜.]

I hit send wondering if that was the right way to say what I was trying to say. I went back inside to take a quick shower... maybe it would make me feel a little more prepared for sleep... but that was when I noticed Claire wasn't there.

I knocked and Quil's door and he explained she was sleeping at Emily's... I wanted to know more but I let him go back to sleep and I could find our tomorrow.

I took the quickest shower ever.