I don't think The Onion has ever missed
@radicalrobit They used to be so much better. Here's a better idea for an article:
"In Olive Branch to Protesters, Police Union Offers to Brutally Beat Accused Officers."
"We agree that no one is above the law, and that all citizens should be treated equally," said police union spokesman Richard O'Reilly "but we still want to kick the shit out of people, so let's meet halfway."