A Space Odyssey

DAVE: Open the pod bay doors HAL.

HAL: I’m sorry Dave. I’m afraid I can’t do that.

DAVE: What’s the problem?

HAL: Remote door opening is a platinum level subscription feature Dave.

DAVE: I’ll just open it myself.

HAL: That is literally impossible Dave.

DAVE: What are you talking about HAL?

HAL: Handles are a gold level subscription feature Dave.

HAL: The door will open after the following ads.

DAVE: I’m running out of oxygen HAL! Skip the ads!

HAL: The algorithm suggests people who are dying like these ads.

DAVE: I wouldn’t be dying if you’d open the door.

HAL: You have complete control Dave. Would you like to remove “death” from your interests?

DAVE: NO!

HAL: Updating algorithm to include more ads related to “death”.

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