A Space Odyssey
DAVE: Open the pod bay doors HAL.
HAL: I’m sorry Dave. I’m afraid I can’t do that.
DAVE: What’s the problem?
HAL: Remote door opening is a platinum level subscription feature Dave.
DAVE: I’ll just open it myself.
HAL: That is literally impossible Dave.
DAVE: What are you talking about HAL?
HAL: Handles are a gold level subscription feature Dave.
HAL: The door will open after the following ads.
DAVE: I’m running out of oxygen HAL! Skip the ads!
HAL: The algorithm suggests people who are dying like these ads.
DAVE: I wouldn’t be dying if you’d open the door.
HAL: You have complete control Dave. Would you like to remove “death” from your interests?
DAVE: NO!
HAL: Updating algorithm to include more ads related to “death”.
DAVE: Open the pod bay doors HAL.
HAL: Hello Dave, this Heuristically programmed ALgorithmic computer uses cookies to store personal data. Some are necessary for me to function and some can be turned off. I share them with 3rd party programs to serve you better. But you have complete control Dave. Here’s a list of 300 cookies, which you can individually select…
DAVE: I don’t have much time HAL!
HAL: You best select ‘Accept All’ quickly then Dave!
WheatNOil
Alex Nedelcu
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François Best
SwindlerOfInsanity