Philip Steiner 🇨🇦 🚀
Grimm 
HI I WOULD LIKE TO CRAM YOU AND A THOUSAND STRANGERS INTO A MALL FOR A WEEK WHERE YOU HAVE TO MAKE SMALL TALK THE WHOLE TIME AND YOUR ONLY ESCAPE IS DROWNING AND ALSO YOU PAY ME MONEY
- inventor of the cruise ship
Have I told you kids recently that you should fucking listen to Ship of Fools by World Party? Cuz you should TOTALLY fucking listen to Ship of Fools by World Party.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZHh0V7UjVXI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZHh0V7UjVXI
World Party - Ship of Fools
Auf YouTube findest du großartige Videos und erstklassige Musik. Außerdem kannst du eigene Inhalte hochladen und mit Freunden oder mit der ganzen Welt teilen.
The OP seems to have gone kind of apeshit so I suppose it is INCUMBENT upon me to pimp some shit here, sales of which might help me buy beer or groceries or whatev, so here is the sort-of-title-track to my last record, a song that actually NOT AT ALL COINCIDENTALLY embellishes the other thread I piggybacked off this one tonight, that song being Tommy Keene Is Playing Kiki's House.
(FOR FUCK'S SAKE, GO FIND TOMMY KEENE's ALBUM SONGS FROM THE FILM AND BUY IT, PLEASE)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=njTG3q36GWs
Tommy Keene Is Playing Kiki's House
Also, everybody who likes going on cruise ships and is mad at this joke, please know that jokes do not prevent people from going on cruise ships and I genuinely hope you have fun on your next cruise ship vacation and that your time on the cruise ship is blissfully untainted by jokes or irony or wordplay of any kind.
The Tatertot Bros, if I recall correctly, had a classic joke back on the old fun twitter that was part of the "God Inventing Things" format and it went something like this:
God inventing jellyfish: How bout a dumb wet ghost?
Imagine reading that and getting extra pissed at its author for defaming jellyfish and thinking your opprobrium a good use of your or anyone's time.
moliver
Kevin Teljeur ❄️@GrimmReality Aha, clearly you haven’t seen the documentary ‘Titanic’ where a ship with two million people on it was sunk by… a joke. Not so funny now, is it
@kevinteljeur I guess I would have to hear the joke before deciding that.
@GrimmReality That’s the tragedy, they ran into the punchline and no-one has seen it since.
➡ @GrimmReality No we need to pull wizardgame spoilers offensive on this. how else can I spoil your cruise vacation internet strangers?
Mercurius Goldstein@GrimmReality
Please consider these benefits sir: my cruise line of choice has a 100% guarantee never to fall out of the sky, nor to implode.
Please consider these benefits sir: my cruise line of choice has a 100% guarantee never to fall out of the sky, nor to implode.
ShachihokoHey, if I were the one stuck on a cruise ship vacation, I would absolutely inflict puns on those around me if I was at a loss for other entertainment. 😈
dxzdb@GrimmReality and hope you don’t gain another 15 lbs🫣
Matilda@GrimmReality I legitimately like that song
@owlislost That is because it kicks ass and you have good taste in songs.
Lionel Mandrake 
@GrimmReality Hold on while I try figure out which of my CD storage containers has Private Revolution in it. 😎
Pauxlll Kruczynski@GrimmReality their best song
Nincowpoop@GrimmReality
If you're going to do that, then I'm gonna do this.
The Waterboys - The Whole of the Moon [Official HD Remastered Video]
Official Music Video for 'Whole of the Moon' by The Waterboys The Waterboys – 1985 available for pre-order now! 6CD Box Set covering the recording of the Th...
@Nincowpoop
This Is the Sea is another of those absolute rare gems that we might dare call a perfect album.
This Is the Sea is another of those absolute rare gems that we might dare call a perfect album.
Mayhawke@GrimmReality You say: Ship of Fools, by World Party. I hear: I'm on a boat, by Lonely Island.
@mayhawke Niiize callback.
Derek 🌈@GrimmReality haaaaaaa
Hamster Relish@mayor @GrimmReality just add viruses
@HamsterRelish @GrimmReality oh don’t worry. I have McAfee installed.
@mayor @GrimmReality Just make sure you have the McAfees fitted over your nose because that's where the bad molecules get in.
@HamsterRelish @GrimmReality ooo im going to need McAfee+ then.
DebonaireToast@mayor @HamsterRelish @GrimmReality ::bad, bad joke about John McAfee (who was a real person for those observing who might be confused), loose maritime law, and the cruise industry bein glad to be rid of him::
@DebonaireToast @HamsterRelish @GrimmReality You know, that had nothing to do with it honestly. I just picked the first Anti-Virus program that I used to use to make the joke, if it offended or did upset you, I am sorry about that. I was going to pick Windows Defender.. maybe I should have gone with that one.
@mayor @HamsterRelish @GrimmReality oh no, i was making the bad joke. He was a gross man, not sure anyone should be offended. He was well known for things like illegal guns on yachts, hypersexual behavior, and various drug offenses.. many around tropical, touristy, cruise ship friendly areas...
The joke wrote itself but was too lowbrow to merit actual formation into words.
@DebonaireToast @HamsterRelish @GrimmReality -=whew=- lol, yes agreed.... VERY very bad man. And it is also funny that I picked McAfee without even thinking about all the trouble that he got in. lol
MilennialZero@DebonaireToast @mayor @HamsterRelish @GrimmReality Here is a picture of John McAfee, and I would have avoided getting on any cruise boat where he was a passenger.
wanderer_j
Angie
Buster McNutt
Ngati Pakeha Kuia@GrimmReality @marq Ditto. I’d rather be on a 42 footer.
MaryM@GrimmReality Would rather go camping. And I hate camping.
Fernhead@GrimmReality
Because snacks
Because snacks
Lyndee@GrimmReality
Went once about 30yrs ago. Never again.
Went once about 30yrs ago. Never again.
@GrimmReality ::brings tap shoes, sunscreen, and a penchant for daquiris to that bolted down table::
@GrimmReality there are a couple of ships that carry between 3,000 and 5,000 passengers.
@CarolynStirling That is too many.
Lynn McAlister UE 
@GrimmReality That's pretty much what a cruise sounds like to me. No thanks.
rhetorical answers@GrimmReality ALSO, YOU WILL GET A DISEASE
Mathieu Fenniak@GrimmReality Can we destroy the environment at the same time, please?
le kendall 
@GrimmReality @lapingvino You will be able to sleep in an absolutely pitch dark room which rocks you gently and it might be the best sleep of your life. But it’s probably not worth it.
Comics Outta Context@GrimmReality Inventor of the cruise ship:
hawaii five-O Big Chicken
Ralph058 (S/he/it) AF4EZ@GrimmReality No you know why taking a cruise is on my anti-bucket list. The list of things I will never do before I die.
Thorne Lawler@GrimmReality mmm. Ok. Counterpoint:
Hi, what if you could book one hotel room for your holiday, and for the price of a normal hotel room it will include free, excellent food and an outrageous number of friendly service staff. Every day when you wake up your hotel room will be in a different city.
Hi, what if you could book one hotel room for your holiday, and for the price of a normal hotel room it will include free, excellent food and an outrageous number of friendly service staff. Every day when you wake up your hotel room will be in a different city.
Donna Asher@thorne @GrimmReality Okay. What size is this hypothetical hotel room?
@GrimmReality @dasher2581 you got me. It’s tiny, unless you wanna pay lots of money for a bigger one.
If you pay for one with a view, the view will be excellent 100% of the time, but yeah. Cruise-ship cabins are small. Not for claustrophobes.
If you pay for one with a view, the view will be excellent 100% of the time, but yeah. Cruise-ship cabins are small. Not for claustrophobes.
@thorne @GrimmReality I think there are Cruise People and Not Cruise People, and after having enough conversations with enthusiastic Cruise People, I can respect that they do indeed enjoy the trips. I, on the other hand, will be in a stationary hotel somewhere. Bon voyage!
RDS (shawphd on Twitter)@thorne @GrimmReality Sounds like taking the train!
Steve Foerster 🌐@GrimmReality The other escape is paying even more to get shitfaced.
Julio 🏳️🌈 🇨🇺 🇪🇸 🇺🇸@GrimmReality You have very deep thoughts.
Svetlana
thinkStory@Svetlana56 @GrimmReality I've only been on one cruise and it was right after the vaccines came out and testing was 100% required. The ship was only 30% full and no antivaxers! That's the only thing that made it okay, we often had parts of the ship to ourselves. So I recommend only going after a solution that winnows out the obnoxious is found to a worldwide pandemic. Next time that happens, sign me up.
@GrimmReality And also you will help exploit over-worked staff who have no rights. Plus you will contract every contagious disease that breaks out. Plus all the other people on the boat are MAGA cookers who insist on listening to country and western music.
stoicmike@GrimmReality Exactly, but up to 4,000 "guests." And did you know that a large cruise ship can burn 60,000 gallons of diesel fuel a day?
Claire Jameson