Quality humor in my CompTIA Sec+ Study Guide:

"... comparing ports and ports ... [similar to] the old joke about the meaning of 'secure.' The Secretary of Defense directed members of different services to 'secure that building.'
- Navy personnel turned off the lights and locked the doors.
- The Army occupied the building and ensured no one could enter.
- The Marines attacked it, captured it, and set up defenses to hold it
- The Air Force secured a two-year lease with an option to buy."