NatachiI am trying to socialize here, but it's so hard.
*insert Bocchi the Rock socializing crisis meme*
[I am not an introvert like Bocchi, but hell if she isn't relatable. Every emotional crisis she has is spot-on.]
Carionto@natachi_chan It's a skill, only a few people are naturally good at it. And like with any skill, with time and persistence you'll get better at it. Sometimes it might not turn out great, or you might not get a response at all, but don't be deterred, that's part of the process.
Having a goal, even a vague one, helps to not let setbacks stop you.
For example, my socializing goal on these platforms is to try and be friendly and encouraging, but also bluntly honest without being offensive
@Carionto I am good at socializing in real life. I am ambivert so I swap between not wanting to see anybody and flying from one group to the next to talk to people. I just don't like doing it on social media x.x It's harder.
And I wish having goals was that easy as you claim. I suffer from heavy case of 15yo procrastination which makes me not do any writing or art, so goals are really not that helpful.
Well I could say my goal is to be myself without having to mask and police myself too much.
@natachi_chan That is something. I am an introvert irl, so what my experiences have taught me probably won't be too helpful, everyone's mindset is different after all.
One thing I do remind myself is that everyone on the internet is just a person who on some level wants random strangers to engage with what they put out into this ocean, otherwise they would keep it to themselves, right?
Like, years ago I would have thought of a reply to your post, but not posted it thinking why waste their time
@Carionto I am autistic ADHD, my issue is posting too much and offending people ususally without even realizing xD Spaming. Another issue is that I have a hard time multitasking between platforms, so if I am active on tumblr, I am not active anywhere else. And if I am active on twitter or mastodon, I am automatically not active on any other social media app, which is like not very good for socializing and networking xD
@natachi_chan That does sound tough, all I can say is to remain mindful of your own limits and over time you'll figure out workable a balance or routine.
I kinda have the same attitude of only one thing at a time to the detriment of all else, but years ago I decided I will not stress myself out over being involved everywhere, and prioritize things I can get more enjoyment through hyper-focus instead.
But that's just me, hope you can find what works best for you.
@Carionto I'm trying to be somewhat active, but I noticed that doing stuff like making weekly card with schedule is already too much, so I stick to just written schedule, with no additional cards from photoshop. I also noticed that since I started streaming I lost a lot of energy. I felt very hyperactive 2y ago, now I feel mostly normal, and it's good, but for the stream it seems bad to be calm and not bring some crazy energy to energize people who are on the stream. If you know what I mean.
@natachi_chan I think I understand that sentiment, though there are all kinds of people who knowingly or not want all kinds of different things.
Though to me, it's really important to find and do what you enjoy, and I feel I've managed to create that for myself. There's nothing worse than a miserable host/participant (unless its deliberate for a comedic thing)
@Carionto I dunno if my enjoyment shows enough xD
@natachi_chan It's okay, as long as your emotions are genuine, people will instinctively be able to notice and enjoy the ride with you
@Carionto Well, I dunno.I often feel that my voice sounds kinda as if I were dead inside?
@natachi_chan That's just self doubt, a gremlin inside your head that doesn't want you to be happy, tell him to be quiet and to prove his point with facts and evidence. I listened to some of your vids on tiktok, I think you come across just fine.
@Carionto I am the gremlin xD
Aww, really? I always feel like they could be better recorded or whatever. *shrugs* I guess I am not the only person alive that dislikes their voice on tape.
@natachi_chan The feeling of "I could do better" is generally good, as long as it continues with concrete actions of how, and then taking those actions.
I am very self-critical, and I sense you might be a bit too, and I broke my mind messing with my audio setup trying to get it "perfect", never satisfied with something in the way I'm recorded. It was a never ending cycle, but now when I get the urge I tell myself - it's good enough now, stop it, move along to other things, perfect doesn't exist
@Carionto I'm a perfectionist, that's true, but fortunately I'm not hellbent on having everything perfect and I can accept what I have. As a writer and artist I learned to accept what I am capable of at any given time, so the idea of "being able to do better" is not pressuring me as it does some of my perfectionist friends that really struggle with stuff in life due to this. So you don't have to worry. I know you relate, but assuming what problems I may have instead of asking is also not good.
@Carionto I am grateful for the advice, even though I didn't ask for it, but most of what I said is just simply the truth. It was in no way negative and I don't see it as talking badly of myself or worrying myself to death. Stating the truth is just how I operate. Most of it is simply things I don't care about anyway. I may find them a little annoying and wish to have a little less "scratchy voice" or a little more "upbeat personality", but in the end I want to be myself through and through.
@natachi_chan Right, good to know all that, sorry for making assumptions and the unsolicited advice. I may have projected myself too much there as well. Thank you for reminding me that I need to be more mindful.
I am glad to hear you have thought about this and decided on what you want, which is great. I wish you success in your pursuits.
@Carionto No it's fine. I do that a lot too, hence why I noticed ☺️ We are very alike tbh.
Thank you! I wish you well too ❤️