A thread on “Late in Life” #Transgender #Transitioning
I get asked all the time what prompted me to transition and dramatically alter my appearance “late in life”. Okay, first of all. I’m only in my 40’s. It depresses the hell out of me that some consider that “late in life’.
1/15
In some respects, I feel old on any given day, but I really do still feel young. But I do get the general curiosity on “why now?” So, here goes. Towards the latter half of the 2010’s, I was really unhappy. I loved my life. I did not love me. If that makes sense.
2/15
I have suffered from gender dysphoria my entire life. I had explored the sissy kink lifestyle under a Dom, to crossdressing in private at home. These outlets were temporary Band-Aid. It ultimately made my dysphoria worse.
3/15
And that dysphoria combined with a couple of other things going on in that time that was leaving my truly miserable. I was in a position where I needed to take hormones anyway for medical reasons.
4/15
In 2018, that led to discussions with physicians and mental health professionals about considering female hormone replacement therapy. It was a difficult decision. It was scary. But it was a chance I wanted to take. Anything to get me out of the spiral I was in.
5/15
The HRT was doing the trick for the original medical purposes I needed hormones for. My body was starting to function again as it should. And it helped immensely and fairly immediate psychologically and emotionally. Although physical changes were slow.
6/15
For quite some time I was in that state where I was quietly taking the HRT. I never came out. Changes were happening slowly over time, but gradually enough that it was not shocking to people in my life.
7/15
In pandemic, I spent a LOT of time at hoe by myself. I became very good friends with people in the trans community online. And it was making so much sense. That “this isn’t you” voice in my head as a sissy. Of course, it wasn’t.
8/15
“I am transgender. I am a woman”. For the first time in pandemic, I was able to say that. And those friendships gave me the courage to step outside for the first time. Ditch the baggy clothes hiding my increasingly femme body.
9/15
Start wearing wigs. Makeup. Start entering he world and representing myself as a woman. School was the first place I was in “girl mode” all the time. Then my apprenticeship and ultimate job from that apprenticeship. My world didn’t end.
10/15
In 2021, I came out to the world on my Facebook and YouTube livestreams. Then Twitter immediately after that. “This is who I am.” And I officially legally became my new identity in 2021 as well. The reception was 80 percent warm and welcoming.
11/15
Finally, earlier this year, I made the decision to have some work done, which accelerated my transformation. It was expensive and painful, but it was worth it to me. And again, I only did this from the courage gained from my peers.
12/15
I can honestly say I feel like this year has been a rebirth for me. A new start. And no, I don’t feel like its “late in life”. I have plenty of life to live. And I owe it to those most important in my life to be the best version of myself. I owe it to me.
13/15
IT’S NEVER TOO LATE! Trust me, I know it’s scary taking that step. But the moment you do decide to say, “I am transgender”, you’re going to feel like so much weight is taken off of you.
How far you go is up to you. Everyone has that different threshold that will make them content and happy with themselves. It’s never too late to pursue that happiness. Never.
THE END
Bonnie Lynne