Doc Edward Morbius ⭕​ (@[email protected])

So, in a desperate ploy to increase buzz about his fading stock-car racing empire, a promoter decided that he needed an extra angle. Searching around, he found that there was a circus which had trained its animals, including a monkey, a bear, and an elephant, to drive clown cars. This, obviously, was going to be the Next Viral Hit. So he arranged to have the animals trained not just to drive clown cars slowly around the stage, but to master the art of tearing down the raceway in a stock car, at 200+ MPH. It took a lot of training, and some substantial retrofitting to the vehicles, but eventually, success was had, and lap speeds increased from a slow walking pace, past 30, 60, 100, 150, and finally 200 miles per hour, deftly handling straightaways, curves, and learning to pay attention to pace cars and flag signals. And it was mostly a success. People went nuts over the monkey. They loved the bear. But the third act was a flop. Nobody wanted to talk about the elephant in the vroom. #DadJokes