Some like the Gracie quote about them being a shark and ground is their ocean.

I feel more like my class is "I'm a mad scientist, welcome to my lab!"

Not that i mean this to be an electronic journal but, again, I'm proud of myself for getting through class today. There were some personal things that made me want to skip-& wouldn't have felt like a slacker-the thing really sucks!

But the #mat as my laboratory is a thought i often have as I'm trying to figure out #teaching...
#bjj #bjjwomen

2/?
...remembering things I want to teach, linking things that will help people, etc. I taught three things from our teacher's teacher's seminar four months ago (where I received my black belt). I even lead up to it Tuesday, doing a few tangential (spider/lasso) that day. Those seminars go so fast and have so many details, I want to go over it myself-& I think it can't hurt the other guys! Lol. Except that poor new white belt I should probably check in with...
#bjj #brazilianjiujitsu #bjjwomen

3/?
I apologized too much. Or idk-i agonize about how that looks. I was late today, so I feel like they were legit owed that one. (Sorry. Lol.) A few of my marital arts friends encourage me (maybe jokingly? that's mostly how I'm taking it?) to never apologize. They say-if you make a mistake in technique, add a detail or use language like that. I tend to just say sorry, let's do it like this, my mistake.

#bjj #brazilianjiujitsu #bjjwomen #grappling #womensgrappling #blackbelt #midwest #apology

4/?
I don't know if the facade they are encouraging is toxic but comfortable (for them) masculinity or if it's actually needed in group settings to give people confidence in you so that they will want to continue taking class from you.

Idk if I'll ever be able to go toe to toe with some of those frightningly overconfident martial arts bros. But. It's possible I need to get rid of some of my apologizing for every little thing.
#bjj #brazilianjiujitsu #bjjwomen #blackbeltwomen #feminism

5/5
Yes, I am one of those people who apologizes even to inanimate objects & inexplicably if *you* bump into *me*! Some of that is my inner friendly midwesterner, but some is from being socialized female in the religious tradition I was raised in (submit! deny yourself! obey (men)!). I can work on that-- but don't want to ever construct an inflexible absolutist cult leader type persona. I hope I always own my shit & do better where I need.
#bjj #religioustrauma #bjjwomen #brazilianjiujitsu