National Security Agency 
Dear esteemed citizens of the #internet,
We at the NSA would like to proudly #announce our latest and greatest #hacking method: direct neural telemetry cerebral interface neuron decoding.
That's right, you heard it here first folks, we can now hack into your brain and see everything you're thinking. So go ahead, try to keep a secret from us. We dare you.
Why would we even need to try and access your email or wiretap your phone calls when we can pull the data direct from the source, your very own brain!
In all seriousness though, we would never invade your privacy like that. We value your #security and #anonymity above all else. And hey, if you don't believe us, just remember: we're the NSA, we never lie.
#TrustTheGovernment
We at the NSA would like to proudly #announce our latest and greatest #hacking method: direct neural telemetry cerebral interface neuron decoding.
That's right, you heard it here first folks, we can now hack into your brain and see everything you're thinking. So go ahead, try to keep a secret from us. We dare you.
Why would we even need to try and access your email or wiretap your phone calls when we can pull the data direct from the source, your very own brain!
In all seriousness though, we would never invade your privacy like that. We value your #security and #anonymity above all else. And hey, if you don't believe us, just remember: we're the NSA, we never lie.
#TrustTheGovernment
