@amyanshawnye It's awful when your family doesn't support you, I just started on this road, and I am waaaay old - My wife and everyone has been super supportive, I'm sorry she's going through this - if she doesn't come round then I would suggest not having someone who is toxic in your life, that's really hard especially if they're family.

I really hope she does come round x

@amyanshawnye Do you and Be you, beautiful people! Even if grandma's not on board, your child will understand who y'all are. Young people know what's up. A homophobic partner of my sister's kept me away from a nephew for years after I started transitioning, and it took my mother and sister some time too to come around (almost two years!). My dad and grandparents still can't even be in the same room, and do not honor my name, pronouns, or identity. Even though my nephew knew me as the opposite gender and sex for a decade, it was a total non-issue to accept me for who I am now (he's in high school now). My sister and he are both very supportive and kind. Your kid will understand the nuances of love and bigotry as they grow up, which is valuable and good.

As for my dad's side of the family; it's painful for me. I love and miss them, even though they can't love me the same way. When I have the capacity to be deadnamed and mis-gendered and made fun of, I reach out. It's hard to give up the hope and desire for them to understand me for who I am, but if we are to have any kind of relationship, that is one thing I have to do! Truth is: even my supportive sister who I am very close with doesn't understand me in that way. She just realizes she doesn't need to understand me to love and support me. 💗

@amyanshawnye sending love, care, and affirmation to Ella, yourself and your child. Congratulations to Ella for being able to start on E, I hope it brings her gender euphoria.

As both a counsellor and NB person I am disgusted at the idea that people would encourage the use of a space that is meant to be safe and affirming to deny or gatekeep someone's needs. The evidence-based best practice for working with TGDNB folks is that of affirmation and doing no harm. Gatekeepers cause harm.

@amyanshawnye I’m not trans, so I hope you’ll forgive me for jumping in, and I’m not sure how much my words will mean, but I hope Ella takes them as they are intended, with love and respect:

Blood doesn’t make you family, it makes you related. Surround yourself with the people who will lift you up and encourage you to be the best version of yourself you can be. Choosing to be true to yourself and who you are can be confronting for people, especially when those people loved who you used to be. Maybe they just need time to realise that the best parts of you haven’t changed - you are still the person they love, only better, because you are comfortable in your own skin and owning who you feel inside. You are brave and strong, and will be the sort of kind and compassionate mother to your child that you deserved to have. If you need a virtual “mum hug” let me know, my kid won’t mind.

@amyanshawnye

Sadly we can't choose our family but we can choose to do whatever makes us happy. Good luck to all of you in your joint and individual journeys. Follow your dreams, always x

@amyanshawnye I'm not trans, but I think parents should support their children's identity. Trans identity is real, and not something to be "counselled away".

Parents, stop abusing your children. Even adult children.