@verybritishproblems
My Email translations:

“I was under the impression”
Translation: "you wot, m8?!"

“As per my email”
Translation: "fucking read, dumbass"

“With respect”
Translation: "stop being a thick shit"

“Whilst I appreciate”
Translation: "nothing to do with it, mate"

“As I’m sure you’re aware”
Translation: I’m furious