@imtheq congratulations on such a wondeful realisation. I'm 53 and got it around the same time as you. This really, really was the motivation for me to quit smoking (for 33 years). Until that time, gentle and kind were just words, and suddenly it clicked. I am allowed and worthy to be gentle with me, to practice kindness everyday.
I stopped smoking and never looked back, almost without struggle :-) I don't really feel as if I've done anything. That realisation was granted to me...is how i see it