"I'm not supposed to waste time(/money*)" is programming I'm still clawing up at the root. Time is a projection, idleness isn't a sin, stillness is both restorative and generative, change always unfolds at its own pace.

*This is so tied in to the "time is money" paradigm, and the notion that we win at life by maximizing anything we can find a way to atomize and count

This is also connected, for me, to the belief that I should maximize every potential I have to its furthest possible extent, as if there's an obligation that comes with every opportunity. But opportunities are meant to be explored and enjoyed, not made into burdens