allready posted that on twitter but

imagine if crowley's snek tattoo can talk but only crowley hears it

the snake starts hissing love stuff abt aziraphale and crowley says them to shut up

one day crowley enters the book shop out of sudden the snake screams ''sssssSEX'' crowley splaps himself there, and when aziraphale asks dear are you ok crowley replies, all red as a fucking fire extinguisher
''mosquitos''