Let's do em all!:

  • GitHub: most mature/reliable
  • GitLab: the most popular and mature GitHub alternative
  • Bitbucket: the "third party" of the bunch that's no better than the first
  • GitTea: the "fourth party" that's actually cool but kinda not quite there yet
  • Gogs: great, but you need to self-host. GitTea is just a community hosted fork of Gogs
  • SourceForge: wow, they're still around?
  • Codeberg: centered around open-source projects only. Managed by a non-profit org
  • Launchpad: run by Canonical (Ubuntu), has a lot of other features/goals than just hosting code
  • GitBucket: a self-hostable GitHub clone written in Scala
  • NotABug: another "liberated" version of Gogs
  • Radicle: imo, the only other one worth looking at in this list besides GitHub and GitLab. It's unique in that it's build on p2p technologies and is censorship resistant

Would love to see other people's one-liner blurbs on these as well

All the alternatives! Gitlab is the most ubiquitous alternative in the privacy community I've seen. Seems to work quite well.

GitLab.com instance runs GitLab Enterprise Edition which is propietary.

I would recommend SourceHut (sr.ht) or Gitea (codeberg.org, git.disroot.org, etc)

There is also:

  • Pagure: RedHat developed git forge that can be selfhosted
  • Phorge: Community fork of Facebook's internal Phabricator forge tool
  • Heptapod: Gitlab modified to work with Mercurial
  • Fossil: self-contained small team collaboration tool doing its own thing entirely
  • Kallithea: git and hg web frontend with code review functionality
Ah didn't realize there was a Phabricator successor, thanks, will add these and your comments on GitTea to the main post
Gitea is really worth looking into because it is the one most likely to get working ActivityPub federation soon. But recently there was some controvery about them forming a for-profit company and collecting VC funds, so probably places like Codeberg will switch to a community run fork soon.
I can vouch for GitLab. I first heard of it in the self-hosted context. If it goes down, it'll either get the community supporting it (open source), or at the very least, a plethora of "Guide to GitLab alternatives" style-posts.

I've been looking for a p2p alternative, which would allow a simple workflow. So I had some hope when noticing radicle. But it builds on top of the blockchain hype, I'm afraid. This cryptopedia post shows things I really don't like.

It's true git itself is sort of distributed, but trying to develop a workflow on top of pure git is not as easy. Email ones have been worked on, but not everyone is comfortable with them.

A p2p using openDHT would have been my preferred approach. But any ways, I thought radicle could be it. But so far I don't like what I'm reading, even less with whom they are partnering:

Radicle has already partnered with numerous projects that share its vision via its network-promoting Seeders Program (a Radicle fund), including: Aave, Uniswap, Synthetix, The Graph, Gitcoin, and the Web3 Foundation. The Radicle crypto roadmap includes plans to implement decentralized finance (DeFi) tools and offer support for non-fungible tokens (NFTs). With over a thousand Radicle coding projects completed, this RAD crypto platform has shown that it’s a viable P2P code collaboration platform, one that has the ability to integrate with blockchain-based protocols.

Perhaps I'm just too biased. But if there's another p2p, hopefully free/libre SW, and non blockchain, then I'd be pretty interested on it...