@gidi
(Couldn't find a language with the name 'can', falling back to eng.)

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For nearly two decades, I have held my tongue and even made excuses for certain
events that traumatize me to this day.

Joss Whedon abused his power on numerous occasions while working together on
the sets of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel. While he found his misconduct
amusing, it only served to intensify my performance anxiety, disempower me, and
alienate me from my peers. The disturbing incidents triggered a chronic physical
condition from which I still suffer. It is with a beating, heavy heart that I say I
coped in isolation and, at times, destructively.

Last summer, when Ray Fisher publicly accused Joss of abusive and
unprofessional behavior toward the cast and crew during reshoots on the Justice
League set in 2017, it gutted me. Joss has a history of being casually cruel. He has
created hostile and toxic work environments since his early career. I know because
I experienced it first-hand. Repeatedly.

Like his ongoing, passive-aggressive threats to fire me, which wreaks havoc on a
young actor’s self-esteem. And callously calling me “fat” to colleagues when I was
4 months pregnant, weighing 126 lbs. He was mean and biting, disparaging about
others openly, and often played favorites, pitting people against one another to
compete and vie for his attention and approval.

He called me in for a sit-down meeting to interrogate and berate me regarding a
rosary tattoo I got to help me feel more spiritually grounded in an increasingly
volatile work climate that affected me physically.

Joss intentionally refused multiple calls from my agents making it impossible to
connect with him to tell him the news that I was pregnant. Finally, once Joss was
apprised of the situation, he requested a meeting with me. In that closed-door
meeting, he asked me if I was “going to keep it” and manipulatively weaponized
my womanhood and faith against me. He proceeded to attack my character, mock
my religious beliefs, accuse me of sabotaging the show, and then unceremoniously
fired me the following season once I gave birth.

At six months pregnant, I was asked to report to work at 1:00 AM after my doctor
recommended shortening my work hours. Due to long and physically demanding
days and the emotional stress of having to defend my needs as a working pregnant
woman, I began to experience Braxton Hicks contractions. It was clear to me the
1:00 AM call was retaliatory. 1 of 2

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Back then, I felt powerless and alone. With no other option, I swallowed the
mistreatment and carried on. After all, I had a baby on the way, and I was the
primary breadwinner of my growing family. Unfortunately, all this was happening
during one of the most wonderful time in new motherhood. All that promise and
joy sucked right out. And Joss was the vampire.

Despite the harassment, a part of me still sought his validation. I made excuses for
his behavior and repressed my own pain. I have even stated publicly at conventions
that I’d work with him again. Only recently, after years of therapy and a wake up
call from the Time’s Up movement, do I understand the complexities of this
demoralized thinking. It is impossible to understand the psyche without enduring
the abuse. Our society and industry vilify the victims and glorify the abusers for
their accomplishments. The onus is on the abused with an expectation to accept
and adapt to be employable. No accountability on the transgressor who sails on
unscathed. Unrepentant. Remorseless.

These memories and more have weighed on my soul like bricks for nearly half of
my life. I wish I said something sooner. I wish I had the composure and courage all
those years ago. But I muted myself in shame and conditioned silence.

With tears welling, I feel an overwhelming sense of responsibility to Ray and
others for remaining private about my experience with Joss and the suffering it has
caused me. It is abundantly evident that Joss has persisted in his harmful actions,
continuing to create wreckage in his wake. My hope now, by finally coming
forward about these experiences, is to create space for the healing of others who I
know have experienced similar serialized abuses of power.

Recently, I participated In WarnerMedia’s Justice League investigation because I
believe Ray to be a person of integrity who is telling the truth. His firing as Cyborg
in The Flash was the last straw for me. Although I am not shocked, I am deeply
pained by it. It troubles and saddens me that in 2021 professionals STILL have to
choose between whistleblowing in the workplace and job security.

It has taken me so long to muster the courage to make this statement publicly. The
gravity of it is not lost on me. As a single mother whose family’s livelihood is
dependent on my craft, I’m scared. Despite my fear about its impact on my future,
I can no longer remain silent. This is overdue and necessary. It is time. 2 of 2