lapineGnosticthe whole "subconciously forgetting distressing memories" thing fucks me up
like sometimes i dont know if i was excluded & not told something or if my brain is "protecting" me by erasing bits
i wish i could trust my memories
like idk if i had early childhood trauma, if i did it probably caused this which is ironic
if not idk
theres no way of me knowing
afaik theres literally no way to access these memories
sometimes im told something i should know and it feels like remembering but usually its the first time ive heard it and i just feel guilty bc i know contextually i must have known it once
at least i dont randomly lose non-distressing memories