🐚 Undo Influence 🐚Jun 19, 2019

"Hi I'm Fred The *~*Prog*~*Creative*~*. For 3 yrs. straight I will attack mainstream Dems to get the social capital & hits I crave. During the election year it's different. I slam Greens & any other Left off-road challengers using the same bullshit vote-Neolib-or-die arguments rags like *La Nation* were already peddling when I was still learning to read.

"I'm Fred & I don't really understand shit but ha ha ha I win b/c neither do my fans."

Show thread🐚 Undo Influence 🐚Jun 19, 2019

"Hi I'm Susie. I've wiled away yrs. of my life boosting Brock trolls tho' we've mutually blocked & they openly brag about baiting me. I'm happy to accept support fr. off-road voters but when their backs are turned I dismiss them as 'a dead end.' Much like my mentor Sanders does. There's a 90% chance I'll vote Biden when I'm told to.

"I'm Susie & I can name every Brock troll on Earth but not one local Green who ran in '18. I'm smart!"

Show thread🐚 Undo Influence 🐚Jul 3, 2019
"Hi! Stand-Up Bob here! l trumpet my dislike of ppl. like Pelosi & our terrible system. But I'm silent re: 3rd Parties & the huge systemic obstacles they face getting any positive coverage at all. Sometimes some silly thing 1 of 'em said 7-8 years ago is good joke fodder, tho'. Gotta' market myself as just unusual enough to keep fans looking, but not in a way that'd get me thrown out of this biz on my ass. I'm Bob & buy my new stuff ok?"
Show thread🐚 Undo Influence 🐚Jul 3, 2019
"Hi, I'm Millie. I write for Bob & I also think the sun shines out my ass b/c I'm a published author. I <3 to Left-punch so I'm REALLY popular w/other "woke" parasites who also hang around the fringes of showbiz while fancying themselves deep thinkers.. At least I ditched that avatar which I thought suggested some youthful Wonder Woman-y badass but really just made me look like I breakfasted daily on a heaping bowl of my own poop."
Show thread🐚 Undo Influence 🐚Jul 8, 2019
"Hi, I'm Dave. I produce comics about heroic fights against the racist history of my city. But I'm also a sniveler who built my brand demanding people in my online space be nicer to the pet bigots I made welcome for years. I am VERY upset about this milkshake thing and wept for hours about how being mean to actual Fash makes 'my side' look bad. Except there's no 'my side' here b/c outside fiction I prize decorum over action, always."
Show thread🐚 Undo Influence 🐚Jul 15, 2019
"Hi, I'm Larry: smug, self-congratulatory published author of some bilge no one's read. 3 yrs. on I still jerk it to my *West Wing* reject copypasta about glorious HRC & all you scum who did her wrong. I cry if you call me a Neolib b/c it's 'childish' but I think I'm a genius for calling *you* 'fauxgressives.' I'm still mad @ 3rd Parties & Nader. I conveniently forget that Gore sucked at campaigning even more than my tinplate goddess HRC."
Show thread🐚 Undo Influence 🐚Aug 6, 2019
"Hi, I'm Terry. I had a secondary role in a show that went off the air forty years ago. So millions of doofuses hang onto my every word. I'm affluent but think I should tell struggling people that now's the perfect time to lie down B4 my Neolib jerkwad friends and beg to eat their shit sandwiches again. Never mind that the election's a fucking year off. My strategy is a GOOD STRATEGY! BEG to eat the shit sandwich, you little worms! BEG!!"
Show thread🐚 Undo Influence 🐚Dec 10, 2019
"Hi, I'm Lydia. I'm back again to whine that every criticism of every Neoliberal woman is sexist and originated by mean ol' men... regardless of what it actually says. Remember when I "borrowed" stuff from WOC without crediting them or linking back to them? Also that time I wrote a how-to for "feminist" survival and it was full of "ironic" racist pics? Remember how I bashed the shit out of Jill Stein? Tee hee. Gimme more money, Rubes!"
Show thread🐚 Undo Influence 🐚Jan 8, 2020

"Hi, I'm Albert. I boost Resistance grifters large & small daily so I can dunk on 'em. Hey, doing a screen-grab could take me 5 extra seconds! 20-30 if I were to excise offenders' names! My great strategy improves the algorithmic standing of awful people & introduces more latecomers to their bilge every day. Also, this is 75% of my TL's content.

I'm Albert, & I don't get why this place is so bad when I'm working so hard to better it."

Show thread🐚 Undo Influence 🐚Feb 14, 2020
"Hi, I'm Joey the 'Left' journalist. Y'know what your 3rd Party candidates need? A condescending speech fr. me re: how you've failed to clear any significant hurdles in 20 yrs. so you should just give it up & get w/the Gilded Donkey. Conform, Loser & don't expect any concessions. Also I don't need to pay attention to the bullshit they've thrown at you all this time. So-- hey wait come back I wasn't done wagging my finger at you, Worm!"
Show thread🐚 Undo Influence 🐚Feb 27, 2020
"Hi, I'm Karen The Berner. I have no fucking life, which is why I constantly crash Green threads and whine that they should endorse Sanders. I know nothing about how lousy this system is to off-roaders, and even if I knew I wouldn't care. That's the sum total of my Left-leaning outreach. You're welcome."
Show thread🐚 Undo Influence 🐚May 14, 2020
"Hi I'm Dicky Dunwhistle. Here's my braggy bio w/my crap fiction & my crap guitar playing & my self-declared genius. I whine daily that anti-racists are all Russian trolls & that anyone who won't vote for Rapey Joe is by default letting Trump win. It never occurs to me that my own pea-brained, 2-bit hall monitor strategy is what painted the electorate into this corner in the first place. Also, my avi makes me look like a serial killer."
Show thread🐚 Undo Influence 🐚May 30, 2020
"Hi, I'm Lola X. Fartengarten. My once-trendy cutesy-tech website is kind of passe' now. I pretended once to like Lefties but I censored you from my platform if you connected the Obama admin. to anything bad, in any way, no matter how indirectly. I have nothing to say about current events but RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA *you're* the real racists not meeee you BOTS! RUSSIA!!" RUSSIAAAAAHHHH !!! [screeching and filling diaper noises here]
Show thread🐚 Undo Influence 🐚Jul 1, 2020
"Hi, I'm Wayne. It's Day 900,000 of my being upset at the much-lauded primary-bad-Dems strategy failing because Neolibs cheat. They'll always cheat and nobody can stop them. Still, I need to spend this entire week crying about that while boosting and supporting ZERO Independent, Socialist, or Green candidates running around the country. I can't say a thing about IRV, either. My precious blue check must be protected. You understand."
Show thread🐚 Undo Influence 🐚
"Hi, I'm Mimi Anne Simpertits! Y'know what you need in the middle of a pandemic when you're jobless & about to be evicted? You need MEEEEE: an attention-starved 1980s TV 2nd banana. Heed my pious Vote Blue prattle, cuz' I'm sad I can't sell $50 autographs at cons now & that's totally UNFAIR! Sure, my fortune & now-dead career were based solely on looking cute in a leotard, but so what? Bend your knee to my rich rapist daddy OR ELSE!!"
Aug 2, 2020 at 11:43pmWeb
Show thread🐚 Undo Influence 🐚Sep 2, 2020

OK, gonna' try & see myself as I saw others earlier today in a related thread. It's possible that, I, too have turned my well-founded dislike for certain foes into a form of upside-down worship. Or at least, maybe I've finally worked off most of my ire & now I can graduate to more wholesome subjects: like art with duckies and bunnies, or the fate of our household's collapsing toilet.

In that spirit, time to bookmark & unpin. 🤞

Show threadGooseThirdAug 3, 2020
@xenophora
#2020HindSight
what we're all gonna have
(my vision is OK but Whoa)
📜 😱 👓
cheers