Nidaime Hanakage 二代目鼻影Jun 25, 2020

new meme: the tall tales of yumyun hammerpaw

it's like chuck noriss jokes, but about a handsome fluffy cat man instead of a mediocre racist actor.

i'll start with an example—

yumyun hammerpaw doesn't get wet when it rains; the rain gets yumyun hammerpaw

Show threadNidaime Hanakage 二代目鼻影Jun 25, 2020
the only thing sharper than yumyun hammerpaw's mighty axe are his fearsome claws, and the only thing sharper than yumyun hammerpaw's fearsome claws are his rugged good looks
Show threadNidaime Hanakage 二代目鼻影Jun 25, 2020
i heard yumyun hammerpaw has a third axe hidden in his beard
Show threadNidaime Hanakage 二代目鼻影Jun 25, 2020
everyday yumyun hammerpaw eats his weight in flapjacks, and that's just for breakfast!
Show threadNidaime Hanakage 二代目鼻影Jun 25, 2020

i heard that yumyun hammerpaw doesn't get hairballs because his stomach is just too powerful!

yeah? well I heard that yumyun hammerpaw can't get fleas because his luscious coat is simply too fluffy!!

Show threadNidaime Hanakage 二代目鼻影Jun 25, 2020
when yumyun hammerpaw sharpens his claws on the scratching tree, the scratching tree says "thank you"
Show threadNidaime Hanakage 二代目鼻影
yumyun hammerpaw gives the best hugs out of any timbercat in history. this one isn't funny, it's just true.
Jun 25, 2020 at 8:16pmWeb
Show threadNidaime Hanakage 二代目鼻影Jun 25, 2020

yumyun hammerpaw got his name by hammering 100 wooden stakes into the ground in under 10 minutes at the annual timbercat games using nothing but his own bare paws when he was barely weaned.

his record stands to this day.

Show threadSoriJun 25, 2020
@Sapphicgiraffic YUMYUN STILL GOING. CAN"T STOP HIM
Show threadNidaime Hanakage 二代目鼻影Jun 25, 2020
@sori when yumyun hammerpaw finished this mighty feat, he immediately fell asleep and as he slept he snored so mightily that it shook the canopy for forty days and forty nights and when he awoke he had grown a luxurious beard and so hungry was he that yumyun hammerpaw ate ten thousand flapjacks in one sitting
Show threadSoriJun 25, 2020
@Sapphicgiraffic The madman!
Show threadNidaime Hanakage 二代目鼻影Jun 25, 2020

@sori once there was a great sickness among the timbercats but yumyun hammerpaw was unaffected.

when the sickness was at it's worst, a great storm came with winds that bent even the great scratching tree and rains that threatened to overfill the river and flood the forest. the sick timbercats could not climb to safety, so yumyun hammerpaw took his mighty axe and felled a hundred trees to make a great dam, saving all the timbercats

Show threadSoriJun 25, 2020
@Sapphicgiraffic A true Chad