Patrick Califia, "Shiny Sharp Things" (1996).

"I have a rage to be, to know, to do. So I have lots of tools and weapons. I would be hard-pressed to decide what I could part with. But I have to admit, as much as it would hurt me, that I would let someone take away my sewing machine and even my electric drill before I would let somebody take away my Walther PPKS or the thirteen knives that share their souls with me."

"Think about how steel is made. You start with something that is taken from a secret place deep in the body of our mother. The knife is made from the same clay that forms our flesh... When a piece of metal is poured into a mold, folded over and hammered, or simply honed, it is awakened. It sings, and if you hold a knife up to your ear, you will hear the music in it, a constant high note of warning. I think it is the note at the heart of the world."
"In the realm of magic, blood is the most powerful product of the human body. It is a potent symbol of both life and death, healing and pain. When people bleed, they let things go, but blood is also a binding substance, a pledge as well as purge. Lady Macbeth was right: Once you get somebody's blood on your hands, you can't wash it off again. The person who holds the blade and cuts someone else is also being marked, perhaps even more deeply and permanently..."

"Obviously the person who is being carved has to feel an immense amount trust for the hand that cradles the blade. But the cutter must also trust. You are saying to the person you decorate, "I trust your constancy. I trust that you have told me the truth, and that this is something you really want, not just for your life today, but for the person you will be in ten years, twenty, thirty...

That is a lot to ask of anyone, that much loyalty and foreknowledge."

This kind of play is well outside my range; I never break skin in my S/M. That said, god DAMN Patrick is a hell of an essayist. This piece is some of the most intense, transgressive writing I've ever read on lesbian desire, spirituality, and sex. It's memoir, queer militant manifesto, how-to manual, prayer. Nuanced, dark, and powerful.