I know a little bit about federation when it comes to projects in the fediverse - probably more than a lot of people reading these words. Federation is only 20% using common protocols and 80% sharing common "policies" and principles. Implementing common protocols is easy. It's just programming - anybody can theoretically do it. Sacrificing your principles is much harder - assuming you have any. Your choices are either to draw a line in the sand and stick with your principles, or give in to an unacceptable solution and stand accused of having the scruples of a crack whore.

I used to give in, because that choice makes it possible for two completely dissimilar projects to actually work together.

Emphasis on "used to".