Michael Beckwith@RooTurboMoth almost forgot this. https://www.dropbox.com/s/m6yid1oz7sndxsx/TheLastMetroid.txt?dl=0
🌹Frida Kalashnikov☕@tw2113 awesome! Give me a bit and I'll get back to you.
@RooTurboMoth Just wanted to check in briefly if you had a chance to peruse these words :D No worries if not yet
@tw2113 not yet, waves of life swooped me this week but I'll get to it asap :)
@RooTurboMoth Life > my unfinished short story. Do what you must :)
@tw2113 hey so I checked it out. I think you've got pretty strong bones going. I like how I can see the relationships between everyone but I'm not sure where the conflict would be because everything seems hunky dory between everyone. There are some issues with tense, but I understand that it's a draft, so that can always be cleared up later. There is also some rushing between scenes, which I think expanding will help develop your characters (for instance I want more drama with Roz and her job).
@tw2113 but like I said I think you're doing well with what you've got.
@RooTurboMoth Hey Frida, I had a night of some inspiration and worked up a first draft for Chapter 4, if you're interested. https://www.dropbox.com/s/m6yid1oz7sndxsx/TheLastMetroid.txt?dl=0 no rush at all again, but wanted to allow you some extra closure since you had the first 3 already.
@tw2113 I will check it out soon :)
@RooTurboMoth I gave the current full story a better URL/location https://achooandthesneezes.com/the-last-metroid/ Easier to read :D
The Last Metroid —
Reading Time: 12 minutes Chapter 1 “The last metroid is in captivity. The galaxy is at peace.” The words flashed across the screen as Mari started what felt like her thousandth playthrough of Super Metroid. Despite so many hours spent as Samus Aran, hesitation to start another never presented itself and Super Metroid was her favorite of the series. …
@tw2113 awesome! I will check it out soon! Pushing through until spring break right now but I'll give you a heads up after I read it.
@RooTurboMoth
Thanks for this awesome feedback. Definitely have more long term drama in mind, just need to get it all typed out. I also agree that there needs more in between moments, and I'm thinking of using those to bolster strong relationships I want the characters to have. Interesting on the coffee drama, I'll see where things could take me there.
Thanks for this awesome feedback. Definitely have more long term drama in mind, just need to get it all typed out. I also agree that there needs more in between moments, and I'm thinking of using those to bolster strong relationships I want the characters to have. Interesting on the coffee drama, I'll see where things could take me there.