masked papayaDec 17, 2018

the kind of culture i want to see is one where people care about *actual* harm done, instead of wielding theoretical harm on fictional characters in order to hurt real people

it's so hard. that kind of culture is so difficult because it means everyone needs to be in control of their own emotions. and as we know, this is not something many people are very good at, because it requires taking a critical look at what their actions are actually accomplishing

Show threadmasked papaya
no matter how you look at it, groups that endorse any kind of hatred are not ones where "helping others" is the top goal. when any other emotion muddles "helping others", it's going to do more harm than it needs to. it's difficult to have compassion for everyone, because people naturally want to get upset about someone not sharing the same bad feelings they have. and so enforcing behavior that is compassionate is very difficult and requires a lot of work/training on behalf of moderators
Dec 17, 2018 at 6:02pmWeb
Show threadmasked papayaDec 17, 2018
it's so hard to put your own personal feelings aside to guide someone into taking actions to be a better and more compassionate person. it takes SO much personal understanding to stand in the face of people doing hurtful things, and to go, "okay, you messed up. how can we help you not make this kind of mistake again?" - especially because the internet LOVES to lock people into the role of "person who made x mistake" - humans weren't built for this kind of setup really
Show threadmasked papayaDec 17, 2018
our memories are fuzzy, but we have access to a tool that lets us reach for any event as if it just happened. this means any given person with an internet history becomes permanently branded with their mistakes, which NORMALLY get absorbed into growing as a person, but has been used online in order to "make examples" of people - pressuring/intimidating people into acting in self-serving ways. it's frustrating to witness over and over
Show threadmasked papayaDec 17, 2018
it's difficult to watch this happen to the internet. people are so scared of making mistakes that they constantly are looking for others who make a mistake in order to show that person off as, "look guys! this is what *I'M* *NOT* like!" which is... it means people stop becoming people, and start becoming symbols, or roles. just something to "use" in order to bolster your own social standing. how do you fight this?? people like expressing their feelings, but they too often make it a vendetta
Show threadmasked papayaDec 17, 2018
i think this will start to change when we demand that people be in charge of their own emotions, and that honesty be required in people's campaigns about whatever. the most frustrating thing for me has been dealing with people being openly dishonest at me over and over, in order to have their feelings validated. I hate being used as a fake person in order for someone else to feel like they're doing something just - when they're really just avoiding their issues. it supremely sucks
Show threadmasked papayaDec 17, 2018
it's hard. people don't want to be open and honest because that is IMMEDIATELY wielded as a weapon against whoever is being open. but that is the best way to actually move forward in net culture at the moment - it's scary to be open, which is why it NEEDS to happen. the less people do it, the scarier it seems. but it is very freeing when you stop trying to enforce your personal dislikes on every other person - just talk about things that happen to you without condemning people, so they can learn
Show threadTidevoceanfiniteDec 19, 2018
@glip
The internet is a magical place where people that have mental breakdowns recorded by their abusers become a laughingstock. It's a place where if you try to get help or talk about your personal problems, you get stomped out like a fire. Even worse, sometimes the only people that COULD help you are on the internet. Like imagine if your only way to socialize was the internet and you couldn't do anything about it.