very much lying face down in bed going “😢 why 😢 am 😢 so 😢 ugly 😭” today but I’m also gagging for it… that’s cool and all but those moods don’t mix at all.
I’ve turned down every single opportunity for intimacy I’ve had this year because I know I’ll just break down if I’m close to someone.
I cried in the beds of other people enough in 2017 to put myself or anyone else in that position again.
And i live in a nightmare opposite world where I feel like the ugliest woman to walk the earth but also almost everyone I know is attracted to me.
When I was a teen and finally coming to terms with my sexuality I assumed that no one would love me and I’d just have unrequited crushes for the rest of my life. in reality, everyone likes me but I dont let myself have crushes any more because of how bad I feel about my body.
have you ever tried kissing someone when making eye contact close up makes you feel like a monster?
maybe I’m just weak but I just can’t do it. it hurts so much and I can’t take that kind of pain.
Katherine