A thing I always find fascinating: For most of my life I felt alone, took many years to figure out why. I've never been vocal about being trans, though neither have I exactly hidden the fact, yet somehow many years later I look up & I'm surrounded by other trans people...
Honestly it feels like some sort of mystical conflux & like minds certainly do attract, but for this to happen... there's a lot more trans people out there than you think & a lot more than the world would like you to think.
It's a difficult path to walk, but remember, you're not alone. Others have walked this path before & others are walking it now. Many of the questions & doubts you struggle with are things others have already dealt with, many fears are irrational.
Don't be afraid to reach out & ask, it's so much better than to sit & ponder yourself into an early grave, either by worrying about nothing or by stopping yourself due to unfounded fears. I know it's easier said than done & I'm guilty myself, but try.
Little Blep Pupper