PocketsWell. I spent a lovely evening with my other partner last night and after a few glasses of wine I asked if I could call him my boyfriend. He's monogamous 🙄 and we've been dating for 6 months. He said no. We had a nice conversation about it and other expectations, but, that's really not what I wanted to hear. For him, "girlfriend" implies all the relationship escalator things that are off the table for us. I get it, but it still makes me sad.
Kalliope@poly_pockets complete opposite of my SP/RA bf. He started calling me "a" girlfriend (as opposed to "his" which implies ownership) really early on and it really confused me as I do tend to associate bf/gf to mean more than I think he does, even now after some time sitting with it. Yet he expresses love regularly and we communicate like primaryish partners, and ask that confuses me as well still, tbh. Language is important. Maybe we need a different word for poly bf/gf that is more specific??
@kalliope absolutely agreed. He told me he likes the phrase 'significant other' and considers me to be a significant part of his life. I feel like that's a little clunky, but the sentiment is nice. I just can't imagine responding to someone, "oh yes, my significant other and I went to see that movie!"
I've been using 'partner' - which I know can have a variety of meanings but to me feels like an umbrella word that could be referring to anything, even my husband.
@poly_pockets okay that is super weird. SO is used mostly by monogamous dyads to mean their "other half" ie primary partner ie MORE important /significant than just a gf/bf!