Jabberjay

LEWD TUTORIAL DAY.

AS RELIABLY ON-TIME AS A FASCIST TRAIN.

(So probably late, but if you complain I'll kill you and make the press lie about it after.)

Today's Lewd Tutorial is Part 3 in our Beginner's Guide to Anal and Toying. Today's part is all about dildo/dick choice, storage for dildos and fetish-gear, and how to actually start taking small-to-mid sized dicks and dildos up your precious 'lil butthole.

Toots will be marked Lewd from here on out. Let's go!

Aug 31, 2018 at 4:46pmWeb
Show threadJabberjayAug 31, 2018
Ok, so the first thing you're going to want to look at is proper storage that is both discreet and dry. Somewhere a visitor, particularly a child, won't randomly get their hands into without at least first taking part in some serious ransacking. The dryness is important to the longevity of any silicone toys, and that can be supplemented by lining the storage area with a towel. Only ever store platinum-treated silicone with it's own kind, but we'll get into silicone details later.
Show threadJabberjayAug 31, 2018
Next is lubricant choice. For lube, anything water-based is fine but you will probably want a thicker lube (typically marketed toward women if the marketing is gendered) because it tends to stay on penetrating toys a bit better. Gooey lubes are also good so long as they are still water-based. Bad Dragon's cum lube is a favorite of mine, but I tend to just go to my local brick and mortar to pick up whatever. In a pinch you can use a cooking oil, but this will permanently stain fabrics.
Show threadJabberjayAug 31, 2018

Finally, we come to the choice of dick. When it comes to humans you usually just take what you can get, but if you are comfortable with using Grindr it isn't that hard to get a lot of selection. If you live in any major city that app is basically an all you can eat buffet of cocks. In either case, if you can, start off with a dick on the smaller end of things if all you've taken is your finger or that small vibe I told you to get.

As for getting a dildo...

Show threadJabberjayAug 31, 2018
Always go for platinum-treated silicone, also known as "medical grade silicone." It is more expensive than normal silicone or other materials but it is worth your money. The toy will last longer and be more bodysafe than anything else you could use. It will also be possible to clean it thoroughly enough that it can be used orally or vaginally after it has been taken anally so long as it is cleaned first. You will also need to purchase toy cleaner to do this properly.
Show threadJabberjayAug 31, 2018
So what size of dildo? Well, for anal, thickness is FAR more important than length. If the dildo can bend then it can be pretty goddamn long, that is part of the entire concept of anal beads. Thickness should be your primary consideration. A normal human penis-shaped dildo would be fine for that, but if you're like me and prefer more... exotic cocks then the ideal shape would have a tapered tip, a smallish shaft, and some kind of expansion near the base. Have a cat safety-inspect your dildo.
Show threadJabberjayAug 31, 2018

Once your cat assures you that your dildo is safe for use, it's time to consider your fuck-rig. If you're having sex with a human, this is usually just a bed or a couch or the backseat of a car or any number of places. For taking silicone penises you need to consider angling a bit more. We'll get into angling with a real life partner later.

The best fuckrig I've found is a large board or other flat object with metal kitchen bowl taped to the top. My dildo can be secured with a suction cup.

Show threadJabberjayAug 31, 2018

If you toy lacks a suction cup you can get wire, wrap it around the base, and tape the wire to the bowl. Make sure you secure it all tightly. The tape I used both for the rig and to sometimes secure toys is Gorilla Tape, which is twice as strong as duct tape. Duct tape has failed me one too many times.

This rig allows you to squat over the toy or to secure it at a different angle so you can back into it on your hands and knees. make sure to pad your knees so you don't get sore there.

Show threadJabberjayAug 31, 2018

The squatting position, or "caveman poop" position is probably the best for a beginner to take a toy from. With a real person they can control their own dick and therefore you have more angling options, but squatting is always the best for relaxing and un-tensing the muscles that are usually devoted to keeping your ass tightly shut.

After you have cleaned yourself up, set up the rig, lubed up the toy and your butt, and have done some warm-up fingering, you should be ready.

Show threadJabberjayAug 31, 2018
Guide the tip to your sphincter and carefully apply pressure by slowly lowering your weight down on to it. The trick to relaxing rather than tensing up is trying to focus on that feeling you experience when your body releases a big shit. You actually have control over your ability to make your body do that, but you need to establish the nerve connections to access it on command. This is the training of that process. This is much like imagining waterfalls to pee. Imagine taking a shit.
Show threadJabberjayAug 31, 2018

Not exactly sexy, (unless you're into that kind of thing) but at this point it is the best you can do. Eventually you will able to reverse this mental association and take shits easier my imagining taking dicks in the ass. That, and taking my first large knot, were my "I have arrived" moments for anal expertise.

But hey, what am I bragging for? You only just got the tip in! Slowly move your way down the shaft until you reach either the base or expansion point. Stop if you feel pain.

Show threadJabberjayAug 31, 2018

Remember that relaxation is key, and if this is your first time you don't have to feel pressure to ride anything, just getting it inside is enough. Try to keep it in for a bit. If this whole experience is too painful you may need to go back to training, but if it feels just good enough then you might be ready for something more intense. Experiment within your comfort level but don't try anything too extreme while just starting out, like taking a knot, for example.

(Next week: Taking knots.)

Show threadRegal Coffee Cobra Aug 31, 2018
@Jabberjay this is all really good info and your cat is an excellent salescat
Show threadLa vie est drôleAug 31, 2018

@Jabberjay i don’t plan to actually read this thread but i figured i’d drive by and say “lewdtorial”

thank you for your time