The Xandalorian

"Ok, now we need a desk lamp."

"I made a list from the website! Our options are Jansjö, Ranarp, Forså, Hektar—"

Suddenly, with an unearthly roar, the stench of brimstone filled the air. In a swirl of smoke and flame, a dark figure appeared, with robes of pure shadow and fiery eyes.

"WHAT FOOLISH MORTAL DARES SUMMON ME, THE MIGHTY—" The demon stopped abruptly. It frowned at the tasteful Swedish pine furniture on display, then sighed. "Dammit, not again."

—
#MicroFiction #TootFic #SmallStories

Aug 25, 2018 at 10:10pmWeb
Show threadmaloki 🍍Jul 16, 2020
@InvaderXan okay this is really funny. 😅
Show threadThe XandalorianJul 16, 2020
@maloki 😂 I'm glad you approve!
Show threadwordy and overwroughtAug 9, 2020
@InvaderXan this awesome tidbit makes me picture another scene in which careful sorcerers keep a collection of IKEA desk lamps near the conjuring circle in case things get out of hand and they need an excuse
Show threadStroomAfwaarts 🌱Aug 9, 2020
@InvaderXan
ROFL 🤣
Show threadAgent Carter ✍️Aug 9, 2020
@InvaderXan
🤣😂🤣
I'm now picturing the demon sighing, putting on a scorched vest with a nametag that is nothing but consonants, perching a tiny pair of glasses on their snout, and offering them a selection of upgraded enchanted furniture. Lamps that serve as wards, desks that boost mental focus, beds that offer minor healing, moving paintings that enhance mental health, etc.
Free delivery, but assembly will require a two goat sacrifice.
Show threadThe XandalorianAug 9, 2020

@AgentCarter_SSR

"Excellent. Just sign here for delivery."

"Wait, but... this isn't the same form. And what's this about a soul?"

"A contract with standard company jargon, I assure you. Soul is... Swedish. For satisfaction."

"This isn't even paper, it's... Oh my gosh, is this–"

"–an environmentally friendly paper substitute. Very popular in hell."

"Well... ok. Oh, this pen has red ink? That's unusual."

"Heh. Yes. 'Ink'..."

Show threadAgent Carter ✍️Aug 9, 2020
@InvaderXan
Oh you made my evil heart smile!👹
Show threadThe XandalorianAug 9, 2020
@AgentCarter_SSR Hehehe...
Show threadFiXato (fallback)Aug 9, 2020
@InvaderXan
Appropriate soundtrack by #ManowarOfSteel: #Valhalleluja : https://youtu.be/S9WWz95ripA
NANOWAR OF STEEL - Valhalleluja (ft. Angus McFife from Gloryhammer) | Napalm Records

Great literature has always been a source of inspiration for heavy metal bands.J.R.R. Tolkien for Blind Guardian, H.P. Lovecraft for Cradle of Filth, The Hol...

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