rartsyWhat's going on
I'm on hiatus from the Big Move. At my boyfriend's, a few hours away from home. Or, my soon to be not-home. I'm using up Kanopy credits, watching short films {Friend of Dorothy & now the donkey astronomers in Perfectly A Strangeness}. Yesterday I barely moved at all, today I'll shower* & go out. *For the first time in a long while, the showers don't work at my apartment so I sponge bathe there 🙃
I texted my realtor with an update & was reminded that less contact is best.
I document my life feelings, for past & future me if for no one else. I desire to make changes that no one I know has made. So how can I relate to others? That continues to be my hardest task. I don't know what is possible but the potential exists that I achieve a life I like from the radical change that I am pursuing. For now it's one moment at a time, with vague future ideas. I protect myself & my dreams by limiting my intake. Arrogance or no, I trust my future to inner me & not to others. No matter what at least it's mine.
The hope is that I can get to a place where I feel comfortable breathing deeply. From there I want to produce work that extends beyond this current moment of stress. All I have to say currently concerns pain & moving & alienation. I look forward to sharing wonder & joy & love again. There will continue to be pragmatic & bureaucratic obstacles for years to come if not forever, but I know that the good of breathing freely vastly outweighs the minor hassles (at least so far & hopefully for good).
I have been living as a loner but I also have hope that my transformative journey will open new opportunities for caring relationships. New place = new attitude & a change of culture. Finally, I'm an artist. By choosing that title I declare my priorities. Artists before me have chosen similar paths that I take some comfort in. What I'm doing makes sense.
Rob 🏳️🌈 Rartsy Humanist