Mosquito Madness update:

“Mosquito men,” who are collections of thousands of mosquitoes in a specialized collection of tubules and globules masquerading as human men to infiltrate human society, have been Unleashed into human cities to integrate and promote mosquito-positive propaganda. (we are working on changing the word propaganda to mosquitoganda, so far we have not yet replaced enough dictionary writers with mosquito men. But don’t fret, my Mosquito Maniacs! we will get them soon.)

Mosquitos are now immune to the vacuums of outer space. Mosquito space probes (which are known as mosquito space proboscises, obviously) are being sent into orbit to beam mosquito mosquitoganda back down to Earth, to make sure no spots were missed. Also to intercept any non-mosquito life attempting to “””escape””” Mosquitearth.

Mosquitos will be given special serums to lengthen their lives significantly, as well as mosquitoroids, growth serums, ranged, rapid-fire mosquito duplicators, far above average human intelligence, and Impeccable Dental Hygiene. (we had to give them teeth as well for that last one. You’re welcome!)

Mosquitos will be funneled into caves and aquifers, and will make sure no humans try esacping underground.

Mosquitoes can now teleport.

Mosquitos have been given a special boost to their parasitic abilities: the mosquito will latch onto a human eyeball and instead of sucking, will inject a Special Mosquito Fluid which goes straight to the brain! The fluid will turn the brain into 1-2 billion mosquitos, and the human will explode in a cloud of mosquito matter. Gross? Don’t worry, the exploded human remains instantly turn into mosquitoes, one bug for each cell. Marvelous mosquito mad mind moments, galore and abound!
That’s all for this Mosquitoweek’s Mosquito Madness report, see you next Mosquitoweek. Don’t forget to open your doors and windows and eyelids for the buzzy little buggers to keep you company forever and ever! mosquitocraft, out.

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