#ThingsMyDogWouldTextMe it’s been five minutes, when are you getting home?

#ThingsMyDogWouldTextMe If you’re not back in 20 minutes, I’m gonna have to do something you don’t want me to do. In The House.

Where the hell are you? [over, and over, and over again]
#thingsmydogwouldtextme
#DogsMastodon

You can't just leave me on "Read" when I put my ball in your lap over 6 whole seconds ago.
#thingsmydogwouldtextme

#ThingsMyDogWouldTextMe 1) you've slept enough, time to get up and play with me
2) you've worked enough, put that guitar down and play with me
3) you've watched enough TV, it's time to play with me,but I'll give you a pass if I can bring my chew on the recliner
4) OK, I was a good boy and let you brush me, now don't forget my treats especially the cheese-please.

#Thingsmydogwouldtextme
Lemme know when u get home and I'll help carry in the groceries! I'm doing laundry now.

Bacon BACON!
Bacon
Bacon bacon Bacon bacon Bacon bacon
#thingsmydogwouldtextme