surdfishAll dogs go to heaven in the Nietzschean sense
MEANWHILE, AT THE ORGY....
aKsHulLy It'S pReTtY iNteREsTiNe, it comes from the Ancient Greek—via Latin, obviously—ὄργια, meaning literally secret rites or mysteries. So I'm like lmao damn son what part of secret rites or mysteries says we all get naked and start literally fornicating with all these randos? Right? Huh...oh these? These were my grandpa's jorts. He let me have them before he passed. No no, herpes, which comes to us from the Greek oBviOuSLy....
Imagine sex with me....
The Bad News: I rehearse my comedy routine the whole time
The Good News: I have 90 minutes of jokes and can breathe through my ears
Bloopers:
The dunk tank from Big Brother
Schrödinger's Alt Txt
Croc muppets for lil miss muffets
4/3
Mastodon's hottest nightclub is beige.party. It's got
Unfluencers
Cease & Desist Bot
Guillotweens
Thrift Traps
I.G.O.R. the ALT TXT removal bot
Stephen Kung
Zebras in Donkeyface
A radiator that leaks Epstein files
Trans-exclusionary zither jams
Trans-inclusionary corndog bees
Boomers without Boundaries
1/3
Cable guy says the problem with my Sony Trinitron is the roller blades of the Barenaked Ladies of the duct tape residue of the French blue button down of the Peanut Buster Parfait of the BJ sneeze of the Chrysler Sebring of the pleated khakis of the Windows 95 of the recall of the Drakkar Noir for arsenic tainted faux ambergris of the mall of emergencies.
changing my nouns to
farthead/shitdisturber
/really cool guy 🤙🤧
losing my religion is a song
about waking up and finding
there's no coffee in the house
girlfriend with a comma,
i know, i know, it's serial,
🎵 stumble out of bed stumble to the kitchen
stumble to the living room stumble to the bedroom
stumble to the bathroom stumble back to the kitchen
stumble down the hall ope! forgot something in the kitchen
stumble to the basement stumble to the living room
stumble to the bathroom stay in the bathroom for a really long time
stumble to the kitchen stumble back to bed....
🎵 JORKING 9 TO 5 🎵