From the New Devil's Dictionary:

PESSIMISM [noun] Unshakable belief that the universe is ill-disposed towards one's own stupidity.

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From The New Devil's Dictionary

RELIEF (noun) The ability to breathe again after the elephant you brought home lifts off your chest and goes for a walk. Usually brief lived sensation that ends when the elephant invites itself back and brings some friends along.

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From The New Devil's Dictionay

LIBERTARIAN (noun) Political persuasion with a limitless, almost childish faith in individual capabilities. Previous philosophical leaning of a person who became a socialist upon being unable to cover her medical bills (also see AYN RAND)

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From The New Devil's Dictionary

INTEGRITY COMMISSIONER (noun): A person lacking in integrity who is commissioned to detect lack of integrity in others with the objective of whitewashing it. A perk paid by the public in dollars and frustration.

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From The New Devil's Dictionary

INTEGRITY COMMISSIONER (noun): A person lacking in integrity who is commissioned to detect lack of integrity in others with the objective of whitewashing it. A perk paid by the public in dollars and frustration.

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From The New Devil's Dictionary

GRINGO (noun) immigrant to North America who since the Sixteenth Century is convinced that everybody who comes to the US of A should speak American.

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From the New Devil's Dictionary

VALENTINE'S DAY (noun) Holiday where florists celebrate the gullibility of people who think they are in love.

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WORLD HERITAGE SITES (n. pl.) Self-effacing catalog of regrets that precedes extinction.

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HIGHER EDUCATION (noun) Totem where politicians practice the ritual known as lip service. Historically a cool down period for the children of the elite to learn to be disreputable before taking nepotistic banking jobs. In modern times, a non-monotonic process by which members of the populace become more aware of the world and then less as they specialize and study the obscure (also see ECONOMICS). May or may not result in future employment.

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From The New Devil's Dictionary

SERVICE (noun) Cultural construct. In Germany it involves heatedly arguing with the client, and then effectively resolving the issue. In America it involves a lot of smiles followed by not resolving the issue. In Japan it involves the utter lack of issues about which to complain. In Mexico it involves blaming the client for the issues, then making her pay dearly for them.

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