New post from A Head Full of Wishes
My record collection: #072: CMJ New Music Monthly - Volume 90 - February 2001
I guess I must have bought the February 2001 issue of CMJ just for the Luna track, which seems odd given that it’s the version of Friendly Advice from Luna Live so nothing I wouldn’t have had, or wasn’t destined...
#Cmj #NewMusicMonthly #FriendlyAdvice #Luna #MyRecordCollection

https://www.fullofwishes.co.uk/2023/09/25/my-record-collection-072-cmj-new-music-monthly-volume-90-february-2001/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=ahfow&utm_campaign=website?utm_source=mastodon&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=ifttt

There's going to come a time in your online journey where you're going to get into conversation with someone, probably someone who is different than you in some way, and you're going to realize that this person has misunderstood something you've said and now thinks something untrue about you. You will have the impulse to correct their misunderstanding.

For the love of all good things, kill that impulse with fire. Burn it to the ground, salt the earth, put up signs saying that nothing of value is stored there, and move to another continent.

Maybe you thought you were agreeing with this person and they interpreted that as arguing. Maybe you said something you didn't realize was offensive. Maybe you weren't clear. Maybe you just plain didn't think through what you wrote.

It doesn't matter. The appropriate, indeed the only, response, is as follows: apologize, thank them for their patience with you, and leave. Immediately.

If you don't do this, you will merely confirm what they think about you. In fact, you don't need to confirm it. They already know, and nothing, repeat, nothing you say will make it any better. You, my friend, can only make things worse. And if you try to explain yourself, that's what you will do.

Apologize. Thank them for their patience. Leave.

FAQ

Q: What about...
A: No.

Q: But maybe if I explained...
A: No.

Q: Surely there must be some way I can salvage this?
A: Boy howdy, you're just itching to make things worse.

Q: But...
A: "I'm sorry. Thank you for your patience." Exit stage right.

Q: Are there any variations in this theme you endorse?
A: Sure. Do not apologize for, "the misunderstanding." That shifts blame. Just take the blame. Apologize. Briefly. You can then thank them for their patience with you. Briefly. Do not center yourself.

Q: Anything else?
A: Don't ask what you can do to make up for it. Don't castigate yourself repeatedly. Don't promise to do better next time. There will be no next time. You have ruined it. Don't attempt to correct the misunderstanding in your apology. Don't do anything but apologize, thank them for their patience, and leave. It's not complicated.

Here, I've written a script for you to follow.

You: I'm sorry. Thank you for your patience.
[exeunt pursued by bear]

ADVANCED TECHNIQUES

DO NOT ATTEMPT UNLESS YOU'RE WILLING TO BEAR THE RESPONSIBILITY FOR MAKING THINGS MUCH WORSE.

You get one chance to try to correct the misunderstanding. This will probably not work, and it will make things worse, but if you're the greatest orator in the history of mankind, you might conceivably pull it off and make things better again.

When that doesn't happen (and it will not), take your fucking lumps and leave, tail between legs. I warned you.

You can specifically mention what you're apologizing for. This is good, in that people appreciate an apology that doesn't sound vague and like you don't know why your apology is necessary. This is bad in that you probably don't know why your apology is necessary. In many cases, it relies on you accurately figuring out what the other person thinks, which... You're in this situation, so you're not very good at that, right? If you apologize for something and that's not why you needed to apologize, not only are you not apologizing for the right thing, you're also giving the other person another reason to think about you negatively.

Basically, apologize, thank them for their patience, and go away. That's the best thing you can do for them, for you, and for bystanders.

Obviously this presupposes that you want to preserve as much good will as you can. If that's not true, why are you here? Why care what this person thinks? Arguing over a misunderstanding with a person online whom you don't care about is just silly. Find something else do to with your life.

#FriendlyAdvice #IFuckThisUpToo
#Apologize
#ThankThem
#Leave
#DontMakeMeTapTheSign

I suppose it was expected, considering the minority of #jazz fans, the fall from Grace of bittorrent, and our usual national firewall that protects us from evil foreign protocols, but of five I thought might go, the two best stand at 0.7 and 0.12% share ratios after two weeks, and the gigabulk of them has cast me among The Suspended 😔

So #friendlyadvice should you get into #Dimeadozen: choose your first torrents carefully, and one at a time, until you find a show others want but few will share!