Marisol Is Me — Hesitant, Haunted, and Holding On

There’s something deeply sacred about writing a character who holds a piece of your truth—especially the parts you kept hidden, even from yourself.

In the final episode of The Why Behind the Bruja podcast series, I talk about how Marisol isn’t just a fictional character. She’s me. The hesitant girl who didn’t want to be seen. The woman still learning how to love herself without conditions. The bruja who carries power in her blood but sometimes doubts she deserves it.

Growing up with a lazy eye made me hyperaware of how people saw me—before they ever heard me speak or felt the warmth I carry. I wanted to hide. But I also wanted to shine. I’ve always lived in that tug-of-war: the desire to be invisible and the hunger to be witnessed. That tension shaped everything, including the way I write.

And it didn’t help that the world around me—like many Dominican girls—trained me to earn my worth through achievement, through behavior, through silence. Pride felt dangerous. Joy felt indulgent. Love had to be earned.

But I remember one moment. My mamá, fierce like Mamá Belén, holding my chin and saying:
“Don’t you dare walk with your head down. You’ll get a hump. And you don’t want that.”
So I held it up. Even when they laughed. Even when they called me a monster or a weirdo.
Eventually, I didn’t need her hand anymore.

That’s the beginning of self-love, right? Not the kind they sell you in affirmations, but the kind you fight for.
The kind you give to yourself not when you’re proud—but especially when you’re not.

That’s what The Ordinary Bruja is really about.

Marisol’s magic isn’t flashy.
It’s ancestral. Uncomfortable. Buried under years of self-denial and fear.
But it’s real. And it pulses in her even when she doesn’t believe she’s worthy of it.
Just like mine pulsed in me—during the pandemic, during the silence, during the writing of this book.

This episode is my full-circle moment. The confession and the celebration.
Because sometimes the story you’re telling is also the story you’re finally living.

#brujaIdentity #characterConfession #childhoodHealing #DominicanStorytelling #LatineAuthors #magicalRealism #radicalSelfLove #selfWorthJourney #TheOrdinaryBruja

Brujas, Mothers, and the Complicated Women Who Raised Us

Raw, tender, and profoundly honest—this episode peels back the layers of maternal relationships that shape not just our lives, but the stories we tell. 

“I was raised by women who loved me and hurt me, and that’s who I wrote.” With these words, I invite you into the emotional core of “The Ordinary Bruja,” revealing how Josefina and Mama Belén emerged from my own experiences with the complicated women who raised me. These characters aren’t villains or saints, but something far more authentic—wounded healers carrying both damage and devotion.

Josefina’s character holds the weight of maternal regret, including my most painful memory: being told by a professional to stop speaking Spanish to my young son. That moment of misguided protection still aches years later, even as I’ve learned the advice was wrong. Meanwhile, Mama Belén embodies those tough Caribbean matriarchs who rarely say “I love you” but demonstrate it through unwavering presence. These women taught strength and resilience but sometimes at the cost of emotional expression—patterns I unconsciously absorbed and had to consciously unlearn as a mother myself.

The transformative truth at the heart of this episode is that while ancestral trauma is real, so is ancestral healing. Sometimes the bravest thing we can do is recognize the cycle and say “this ends with me.” Whether you’re navigating your own complicated maternal relationships or seeking to parent differently than you were parented, this conversation offers validation, reflection, and a path toward healing. Join me in exploring how protection can become projection, how love manifests in unexpected ways, and how our most painful experiences often become our most powerful stories.

Take a moment this week to write to one woman who shaped you—with love, anger, grief, or whatever truth lives in your heart. Healing starts with honesty, and motherhood’s messy glory deserves nothing less.

#ancestralHealing #DominicanStorytelling #generationalCycles #imperfectMothers #latineFiction #motherDaughterRelationships #motherhoodAndIdentity #TheOrdinaryBruja #toughLove