"She doesn't care whether he eats it or not." - JOHN HODGMAN, Contempt of Torte, Judge John Hodgman #JudgeJohnHodgman #JJHO #ContemptofTorte #JohnHodgman

"That's where instead of sugar, you just use lard?" - JOHN HODGMAN, Contempt of Torte, Judge John Hodgman #JudgeJohnHodgman #JJHO #ContemptofTorte #NationalLardDay #JohnHodgman

"Some people play Solitaire!" - JOHN HODGMAN, Contempt of Torte, Judge John Hodgman #JudgeJohnHodgman #JJHO #ContemptofTorte #NationalSolitaireDay #JohnHodgman