No therapy till Monday so into the void we go...

I'm realizing how much being middle aged and at the end of the gifted kid to burnout adult pipeline is affecting me. I constantly don't feel good enough or that I've achieved enough, although I know this isn't true and a brain construction, but The pull to withdraw and not be a burden to anyone or anything is stronger than ever. Even with close relations and especially with people who are objectively better than me. Also to protect my ego.

I know I need to interrupt these thoughts and do things to build myself up, but fuck It's painful in the meantime and confusing. Should I withdraw from some relationships to not feel like shit while I work on myself? But I shouldn't since that has consequences which could be worse.

I kind of want to just accept that I am inferior now and should be secondary, be happy in support and subservience. Like a pet.

I don't know how many other people feel this way or as strongly. Brains hard hard to fight because core feelings are stronger than facts or external validation. I hope I figure it out

#GiftedChild #BurnoutAdult #ImposterSyndrome #FeelingInferior