trying to think is like knocking on the door of my brain and my brain just yelling back "we're closed! we're fucking closed! go away!"

give em the ole razzle dazzle. let em know youre in control. death is inevitable, so wow them with the fact that you are, in fact, not dead.

i am extremely agile. i have practiced this agility by purchasing an army of 17 roombas and taping various knives around them. also my ankles hurt.

fuck the police!

this 2019, make sure to never let them take you alive

i keep joking about my pronouns but fuck off, dont use pronouns for me. dont talk about me. whatever you wanna say you say it to my face. i WILL fucking cry but you aint gonna misgender me.

im not actually funny but the way i use words sure is a joke in and of itself. its like the fact that an anteater exists. by virtue of the string i thread i say absurd things.

my tub’s temperature control is labeled from “snowflake” to “sun”. i don’t know about you but if someone asked me what the opposite of a snowflake was i don’t think i would immediately blurt out “oh you know, the fucking sun”

i'm accomplishing all my new years goal so far but, like, not in the way i expected. ive been meditating, but at like 3 in the morning. im awake for two hours but fuck im getting my duolingo lessons in. i'm depressed as fuck and barely leave my bed but i've washed my face every day. what gives?