Let's see how quickly I can work a room and find a new local mart I can banter with."
Every time I set foot in that store I'm playing the game — what will I do next?
I told the girls, "Okay, you can pay for me this time." The poor girl looked shocked. Then I said, "Just kidding."
I'm leaving Siem Reap. Time to find a new game.
The self-doubt is gone. My mind is quiet. There are patterns and I know these patterns — and that is absolutely kryptonite for hidden controlling types.
Someone walked into my room at 6:30am and stood there trying to justify himself instead of rushing for the exit. I already knew before that moment. My read on people is almost instant now. That's because I trust myself more.
#EmotionalAbuse #Healing #NarcissisticAbuse #Discernment #Mindfulness
He tried to control me, and I essentially used that pressure to get better. So strangely enough, thanks to the landlord.
A switch flipped. Relapse, a low point, a moronic landlord who thought he was superior. Instead of shrinking I thought,great, a challenge. And just like that I lost interest in lust and chasing.
https://whothefami.substack.com/p/thanks-to-the-landlord-the-moronic
If I were caught lying, I would lose face. It's beyond me why people lie to save face.
Last couple of days in Cambodia. Last days in Southeast Asia. Thailand bombing the borders, cultural friction, enough personal losses.
Time to cut losses, get my passport back and book for Kyrgyzstan. Time to shake it up.
I'm watching the river flow effortlessly. That's what I'm doing.
https://whothefami.substack.com/p/getting-the-hell-out-of-southeast
I didn't need ketosis or performance to get what I want in life. I'm already on that path, I just need to fuel it consistently.
My mother got upset that I was cooking for myself and went back to her room. That was the moment I started cooking practical, self-sustaining meals. Nothing fancy. In Uzbekistan they eat a simple daily dish called Plov. I reimagined it for Australia. I feel so grounded after eating it
I just need to cook an Uzbek Plov.
#Cooking #Uzbekistan #CentralAsia #SoloTravel
It's like slowing down and watching art rush by art you can distort with your own mind, making it as psychedelic as you want.
I've surrendered into myself. Walking slowly while everyone hurries. Looking at the big picture. They're in their heads. And you're just watching. Making art in your mind.
I'm freer than you can imagine."
Slow-walking and dancing along the river in Siem Reap, reflecting on my time in Southeast Asia. Psychologically, financially, spiritually, logistically, really free to take my time. People don't understand the personal freedom I also possess. And that's even more freeing.
https://whothefami.substack.com/p/freer-than-you-can-imagine
Logic says Malaysia. My gut says Kazakhstan. On this occasion logic needs to be thrown out the window.
A year in Southeast Asia. A landlord who lied, deflected and gaslit. Thailand bombing the border.
I don't want to be involved in something I don't fully understand. I'm burnt out from lying, deflecting and avoidance. A flight ticket to somewhere totally new might be just the ticket I need.
https://whothefami.substack.com/p/logic-says-malaysia-my-gut-says-kazakhstan
I felt like Marilyn Monroe with a dick and curly hair in Cambodia.
They now know me at my local convenience store. I make an effort to talk to all of them and practice Khmer. Now as I walk inside, all of them are smiling and greeting me. I am healing now, my energy is good, and I look forward to buying my ice cream tomorrow night.
If you can't say no in Kyrgyzstan, you're going to have troubles. Which is why you should go.
It stretches you. You have to adapt. The unknown is a hero's journey — it teaches you skills. Come back with a Soviet backbone in a western world.
