this starts from like. if i lend you money on the spot then can you please text me that you owe me that amount

i don't want lending someone money to become an exercise in more work for me. it's not right

if you keep track of your debt balance with me as well, i have a sensibility check on whether there's something big i'm missing and it's not an unequal relationship on who's doing the work to ensure that i'm paid back (because i feel like i lend way more than i owe)

but it is quite a lot of mental work and stress to log all my debts and if you're not sharing in that work then why am i lending money to you

what it does is constantly make me feel like i'm losing if i don't take on this huge task