I hope this email finds you unprepared and busy in selfish undertakings.

I hope this email finds you lying under the alders, with the lake breeze in your face.

I hope this email finds you with all kinds of big ideas that have a decided element of creative genius in them.

I hope this email finds you desirable, but sexually reticent.

I hope this email finds you wherever you are now.

I hope this email finds you at the bottom.

I hope this email finds you slightly ridiculous, and makes you feel it.

I hope this email finds you, or it spirits you away.

I hope this email finds you unprepared with cooked cereal for the little tots, just warm the milk that you put on the dry cereal.

I hope this email finds you alone, as it were, in the world, sad, melancholy, sour, and soggy, groping in the darkness of sin and selfishness, without the cheering light of love and the heavenly smile of woman.