I hope this email finds you under a balcony and kisses you in the shadows until there's nothing left of you but sparkling fairy dust, and in your weakened state, you ask if she wants to hang out next weekend, and her face clouds and she goes, “Ohhh."

I hope this email finds you well and safe, Johnny, my love.

I hope this email finds you guilty as charged.

I hope this email finds you.

I hope this email finds you anywhere in the house, you can add other family members' names to the Find Me game.

I hope this email finds you well and not too cold.

I hope this email finds you running through the house dripping wet and buck naked.

I hope this email finds you well and you haven't woken up to a pile of doggie scoots this morning.

I hope this email finds you desirable when he has a woman whom he obviously found desirable at some time waiting at home.

I hope this email finds you well and at peace, or something like it.