this interview is incredibly informative, and pulls no punches about what it's like to live with alcoholism and not recognize it in yourself until later in life:
https://www.theguardian.com/culture/2026/apr/26/i-wanted-alcohol-to-take-me-to-a-place-where-i-was-not-comedian-john-robins-on-the-moment-he-realised-he-had-a-drinking-problem
long story below:
throughout my 15 university years - both as a student and later as a lecturer - i was an alcoholic. meet-ups with friends were at pubs; weekly friday afternoons with my departmental colleagues were at the faculty club over beer. i even met my future wife over a pitcher.
i *liked* drinking with friends. i could unwind, chat freely, and forget about the outside world for a few hours. i was fun to be around, and had fun being around others. the problem was that, in those 15 years, i never really learned how to experience frustration at work, antipathy between friends, deal with tension in relationships, or anxiety about socializing as a sober person does. drinking smoothed away all of the hard edges of life. i was self-medicating.
when my life hit the concrete in 2014, i got sober for the first time. i went through a lot of counselling, attended a 12-step program, and learned a lot about myself over the next two years.
i suddenly had to spend time with my childhood friends, colleagues in academia, IT, game development, as the only sober person in the group. i had surrounded myself with people who drank for the same reasons as me, and would never consider themselves alcoholics.
being the only sober person in the group was painful. i realized that, privately, most of my friends disliked one another for various reasons and only could tolerate being around each other if they were drinking. and because they knew i didn't drink anymore, i was invited to less and less get-togethers. after a few years, many of these relationships built over a decade or more withered away.
the crazy thing about getting sober, and i've never heard anyone say this before, is that the world develops perfect clarity. there are a million things you can't notice when you're numb to it all (and i suppose that's the entire point of drinking). getting the opportunity to actually perceive people, their emotions, your own, with clarity is absolutely wild. the world has so much flavour!
getting sober is a little like getting a new pair of glasses. you stumble around for the first few minutes because everything suddenly looks wonky and glaring. suddenly you're smiling because the trees and flowers outside are so sharp and colourful. best gift ever.
#beer #alcohol #drinking
David Revoy
Calishat
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nash
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Head·word /ˈhedˌwɜː(ɹ)d/ n.
Lëspreüh