We're TheEmptyPress, AKA "The Old Dark Lady". We write worthless, satirical garbage. Also, we're not an AI, we're just bad at what we do.
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The Humboldt driver suffered more severe consequences than all of the gun dealers, police officers and politicians, who enabled the Portapique massacre, combined.
Hey Sharon Osbourne,
When you're at the "Unite The Kingdom" rally, maybe ask the other attendees how they feel about Jews. You might find it enlightening.
We’re also sad that we’re probably just being naive.
Considering the circumstances one must be in to receive it, we're grateful that none of our soldiers have been awarded the medal.
Well, at least someone isn't experience a gas price crisis.
https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2026/apr/15/big-oil-huge-war-windfall-consumers
"I hate having visitors but, if I didn't, I'd never clean my home"
"It's often said that travelling to PEI is like travelling back in time, and we're trying to live up to that standard by copying everything Tim Houston did a few weeks ago!"
https://theemptypress.com/pei-finance-minister-says-new-budget-made-in-nova-scotia/
CHARLOTTETOWN – PEI Finance Minister Jill Burridge has proudly proclaimed the province’s upcoming budget plans to be “Made In Nova Scotia”. Speaking with reporters gathered outside the legislature, Burridge was enthusiastic. “When Islanders elected this new PC government, we promised that any legislation we passed would be tailored to needs of the people of Prince […]
Their remains are to be fed to The Respected Daughter’s stable of axolotls.
https://theemptypress.com/kim-ju-ae-orders-execution-of-field-hockey-rival/
SEOUL – According to reports from South Korean intelligence officials, Kim Ju Ae, the daughter of North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un, has ordered the execution of a rival field hockey player. According to experts, the 13-year-old Ju Ae is believed to her father’s chosen heir, and her recent move to deliver a death sentence […]
