Breaking news: ChatGPT is down. The tech sector completely collapses as nobody remembers how to do work anymore. Execs slowly weep into their expensive coffee mugs and ruin their suits over lost profit. Some hearings have to be postponed as lawyers no longer have the ability to accurately defend. "The effects of this singular centralized service falling over are much higher than anticipated, maybe someone should have warned us about this!" one person remarked when questioned about the matter. But the damage is done. "We decided to give everyone a 4 day work week by disabling our service on Tuesdays," an anonymous source at OpenAI told us upon request for comment.
Microsoft seems to have been hit by this the hardest. The poor unpaid intern who accidentally pressed "y" instead of "n" on the OpenAI Azure cluster is now facing an absolutely unprecedented amount of scrutiny from techbros world wide and can kiss their silicon valley dreams goodbye. Though some are speculating that this is a clever move by an Anthropic operative to get some of ChatGPT's core userbase over to Claude instead. What will happen next? Stay with us as the mystery deepens and we unravel what might be the as of yet silent AI company melee slowly leaking over into the mainstream media.