Mastodawn

@fesshole "I'm convinced my wife is having an affair with a Scotsman. She kept giving me bottles of Scotch produced near various landmarks all over the country; no doubt from trips with her lover, and as a way to ease her guilt. I kept selling them because I want nothing to do with it. She now thinks I'm an alcoholic..."
#FessholeFanFiction

Sylvia Osteen 1d ago

GreenSkyOverMe (Monika)2d ago

British online friend: "Saw a flying banana tonight. I only noticed because of the purple light shining upwards"

Everyone: ???

"We have track measurement trains. They run around, checking the tracks for faults, the power cables, etc

They're bright yellow. So they're nicknamed the Flying Banana, as a joke on the Flying Scotsman

Night time they have this blue laser that scans the overhead wires. It creates this giant glow you can see when it moves"

Sylvia Osteen 1d ago

Micro SF/F by O. Westin Apr 8

There was a faint puff of smoke from the bottle, and a small genie appeared.

"You have freed me," it said, "so I'm obliged to grant you a wish."

It hesitated. "But I am not very powerful."

I nodded. "Of all things I need, give me the greatest you can."

Suddenly, I held a large mug of hot cocoa.

#MicroFiction #TootFic #SmallStories

Sylvia Osteen Apr 8

Matthew Malthouse Apr 8

Sylvia Osteen Apr 8

Fesshole 🧻Apr 8

I meet countless people through work and I lose track of who's nice and not so I developed a system. Anyone that's the latter has their last name saved in capitals on my email contacts. So when James JONES emails me I am reminded that he's a knob and can respond accordingly.

Sylvia Osteen Apr 8

0x575446, Fifth Columnist Apr 8

Checker at PetSmart asked if I wanted a bag for the cat treats and then looked horrified when I said, "No, I'm going to eat them on the way home." No sense of humor.

Sylvia Osteen Apr 8