imagining a john kerry speech where he warns the youths of the dangers of listening to "chapo trapped pied-a-terre", and "ejaculation township"

going to spend the next 20 minutes poasting jokes birb side wont see for months, welcome to my premium social media account

Professors love sticking one hand in their pocket and gesturing at the lecture hall with their free hand, they cant get enough of that shit

going to do some mastodon exclusive toots later today and maybe friday, got some good stuff

hello friends, going to be extremely offline for a few months, but if you and i were acquaintances on birdsite or want to stay in touch or cant live without my bad posts, please, dm me on there and I will try and send all interested parties a joke a week to keep my posting skills fresh.

i hate that "being a lawyer" is called lawyering, it sounds like adulting for professionals. awful

sliders are called that because they slide through your digestive system completely undigested, this has been uhh gastroentonolgy with state champ

@[email protected] your welcone